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Country Music Awards Red Carpet

Well, actually it was an orange carpet for some reason, but no time for that now, kittens! We've got dresses to rip!

Kellie Pickler in Zuhair Murad Spring 2009 Couture

Sorry, but she looks utterly ridiculous. It's a tacky-looking dress no matter who's wearing it, but when the wearer needs to be rubbed down with Crisco just to squeeze into the damn thing, the tackiness increases tenfold. Look at that side shot of her. Clearly, she's as thin as a rail, but by wearing a dress THAT tight with THAT silhouette, she gives the impression of being too fat for the dress.

Carrie Underwood in Randi Rahm

It's sweet. It's pretty. It's boring.

Jennifer Love Hewitt in Robert Rodriguez

See our comments regarding Carrie Underwood.

Miley Cyrus in Monique Lhullier

Oy. We've defended her in the past, but we can't this time. She is WAY too young for this look. It's not a bad dress, but it just doesn't look right on her. Plus, the fit is terrible.

Nicole Kidman in L'Wren Scott Fall 2009

We're not quite sure what to think here. Don't get us wrong, we're absolutely sure that this dress doesn't look good on her, but we're torn on whether it's because it's the wrong dress for her or it's just a bad dress. The neckline is so high and from the front it just looks like a shapeless column of black. The exposed back doesn't really mitigate that or make it look sexy, which was clearly the intent.

Taylor Swift in Angel Sanchez Spring 2009 Collection

Not a bad dress, but it would look a lot better if it fit her correctly. The hem's too long for her and the bust is pulling away too much.

Taylor Swift in Milly Fall 2009

Look, it's the CMA's. We get it. We can actually appreciate a little countrifyin' of fashion when it's done right. But this is NOT the dress to be paired with cowboy boots. She looks like her dressing room caught fire and this was what she grabbed to escape.

[Photos: Images/WireImage]

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Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Country Music Awards?

Good grief, these gals really don't look great in those dresses. I really have to agree with your comments, those dresses either a) are the wrong look, b) are a bad design in the first place, or c) really need to be fitted.

Honestly, girls, get it right.

Oh god they all look horrible and what's going on with Nicole Kidman. Enough botox, honey.

1. Pickler- Too small in the bust. Placement of the "matte" and "shine" in the rear is vulgar.
2. Underwood- Night-night.
3. Love-Hewitt- 70's off the rack prom dress.
4. Cyrus- The dress is actually a nice fit for her body, but her face is too young.
5. Kidman- I like it. Severe and cruel perfect for her. And at least she is wearing her usual ghoul make-up.
6. Swift- Somebody elses dress.
7. Swift (2)- Oh Jees. Cowboy boots with a gown how original. Hideous!

Wow, you boys are in a pissy mood today, aren't you? Nothing is working for you. Are they all really that bad? Aside from the botox problem ToddNY mentions, I don't think Nicole's is really BAD, is it?

I think most of them are OK, but yes a bit boring. except the mermaid number (we already get it, fish scales - memaid, but it has been done over and over like that).

So often the CMA's have such dreadful clothes... I can't be too upset with these. I actually loved the boots, for the spirit of the occasion.

so all of this must once again prove that I have no taste.

Oy, vey! I don't really have much more to add, here.

I liked Hanna Montana's dress, but not on her. Even though I reminded me a little of VictorYA's prom dress, that I absolutely hated.

Does that even make sense? It dosen't to me, and I'm the one who typed it. teehee...

Actually I DO have one more thing to say.

Give Mrs. CruiseUrbana a damn sandwich!

I actually like the Angel Sanchez a lot. I think the issue here is that it doesn't fit Taylor properly around the waist.

Sewing Siren said...

"7. Swift (2)- Oh Jees. Cowboy boots with a gown how original. Hideous!"

Where's Dolly to show them how it's done?

Anonymous said...
Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Country Music Awards?

Her agent prolly thinks that her stock is sinking, so he wants her photograph in OK!, Star, The Enquirer, Us, People, and Country Weekly. A few years ago, I couldn't tell you what movies Salma Hayek was in, but boy, she was always dressed up at some opening or another. Back then I assumed she'd attend the opening of a paper bag.

The orange carpet is killing me. Very 60s Scandinavian.

5. Kidman- I like it. Severe and cruel perfect for her. And at least she isn't wearing her usual ghoul make-up.

Nicole uses Botox? I think she had her entire face removed and replaced with the skin of a 14 year old virgin and it was sewn on with thread spun from gossamer fairy wings. But I have no proof.

That's awesome, Sewing Siren.

Pickler: Ouch! And OUch! Shouldn't ever treat the girls that way!

Underwood: Really, really tired of those awful thick uni-straps.

JLoHew: Either she's doing a magnificent (but boring) job of dressing big boobs and booty, or she's stopped eating.

Cyrus: Step away from the Bedazzler and go do your homework!

Kidman: Step away from the Botox and wipe that smug smile off your face. Oh, wait. I forgot. You can't!

Red Swift: I love it.

Be-booted Swift: Oh for God's sake!

They all need some nice country gays.

This comment has been removed by the author.

1. Taylor Swift in Red and Miley looks are way too OLD

2. Taylor Swift Cowboy boots are NEVER okay with a cocktail dress

3. Kerry Underwood is underwelming

4. Kellie Pickler's (HOT MESS) new stylist must be Tina Knowles

5. Nicole Kidman WAX FIGURE

6. WTH was Jennifer Love Hewitt doing there???

I love that you put the designer's photo next to the dress - it's sort of like seeing the Director's cut of what the designer had in mind. Keep it up, please!

Kellie Pickler: That makes my breasts hurt just looking at it. The top of dress shouldn't be that close to the areolas :P And if you've got "back-fat" hanging out, the dress is too tight.

Carrie Underwood and JLH: Cute, but a yawn.

Miley Cyrus: All the young girls want to dress older; all the older gals want to dress younger.

Nicole Kidman: Not good on her, but I give her kudos for at least making an attempt at something different.

Taylor Swift #1: She's not wearing the dress, it's wearing her.

Taylor Swift #2: If it weren't for the boots, I'd really like the look.

Re: Kellie Pickler

Is the dress tacky? Yes. Does she look fat in it (or ever)?

Nicole Kidman is trying to channel Tilda Swinton but not really succeeding. What's with her hair? It looks like she is about 3 weeks past needing color.

I've always been unimpressed with the fashions at the CMAs, and this year is no exception.

I feel sorry for Pickler's boobies. Taylor Swift is slowly being consumed by that red dress, it just needed to have been fit to her body and then I think it would've looked pretty good. I like LH's dress, but not the color. I want Cyrus to get out of big sis's closet.

FYI - it was the ACM (Academy of Country Music) awards. The CMAs are held in the fall.

Regardless which show it was, the comments about the dresses are spot on. Blech.

Pickler - that's a Beyonce dress if I ever saw one.

Underwood - Wake me up when she's wearing something fabulous and tasteful.

JLoHew- Agreed. Pretty but a snore.

Miley - That embellished neckline does nothing to make the dress more youthful. On the contrary, it reminds me of the beaded cardigan my grandmother throws on when she feels like dressing up for bridge night.

Kidman - I'm not sure this dress would look sexy on anyone. It just misses the mark.

Taylor Swift - I really like the Angel Sanchez dress, but I agree, the fit is off.
The short dress is kind of cool, but the cowboy boots aren't working. I don't care if it's the CMAs, you need to look in the mirror before you walk out the door.


When I saw the Pickler photo, I thought maybe this year was the year that Dolly Parton-style excess was to be recycled for a country music trend.

But, no.

Ms. Cyrus dresses better than you would think a girl of her age would, but she does make "I wanna look grown up!" choices that just look wrong.

Oh, and Taylor Swift's short dress & boots is absolutely dead-on correct for young-country-with-money, based on the photos and folks I see here in Texas. The dress code really is different, out on the range.

Wow - Nicole Kidman as Morticia Adams!

Why do celebrities so often look like they've taken a dress off a model's back and put it on without having it fitted? The hems look too long, and the bust looks too small. Is this what the fashion houses do - loan a dress to the celebrity but tell them that they're not allowed to alter the dress?

Again - Brilliant! I couldn't agree more - and I know I couldn't say it any better or wittier (sp?)

Can I just say... Carried Underwood. WTF? Whenever I see her - and I try not to - I can only think of Cheezwhiz - processed, processed, processed.

At least there is something organic about Swift and JLH.

"its sweet. it's pretty. it's boring."

is that a reference to Carrie Underwood, or the dress she has on?

pickler: nothing needs to be said. that dress speaks for itself. and her makeup is very orange, no?

underwood: i've seen her do worse. not that she deserves to be applauded for not failing, but at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

love-hewitt: it seems like something anne bancroft would have worn to seduce dustin hoffman. as in something an older woman in the 70s would wear when she was feeling randy.

cyrus: the dress makes her waist look thick and her hips look awkwardly thin. and i won't even start on the damn shoulder embellishment.

kidman: is anyone else spooked by her back? i feel like it's sagging from lack of food and one cheeseburger would fill it out again.

swift I: the dress is fine. kind of pedestrian, but fine. BUT THE HAIR! it looks like a powdered wig they forgot to powder.

swift II: i'm not offended. she could have chosen a dress that gave her more shape up top and in her hips, but she looks cute enough. and cowboy boots are to be expected from some girls. kinda like those girls who wear combat boots to prom. it's a way to feel "original" while actually being a carbon copy of many generations of women that came before her.

I was hoping to see the dress Carrie Underwood wore to sing towards the middle/end of the show. When she sang "I told you so." I would like to hear what y'all have to say about that dress.

Of course Kellie Pickler looks tacky, it is in her genes! She does look much better here than she usually does though, so I don't understand the hate. Her plaid dress and crazy-drunk Midwestern mom duck-ass haircut the other day didn't inspire as much as hatred as this look, which is really just too tight for her. It it fit, it would be fine.

I agree with everything else, and I think the L'Wren Scott is just a bad dress. If stick-thin Nicole Kidman can't pull it off, who can?

Who's Angel Sanchez?

That's a lovely dress.

Kellie Pickler??? I thought she was Joan VanArk - - I kid you not!

Now what 23 year-old isn't dying to be compared to a 50+ year-old "has-been" actress?

Kellie dear, makeup, hair, dress... all too, too, too.

simplify. I think it is why the country-folk fell for y'all.

Kelli Pickler looks like she has back fat hanging over the top of that dress, and I'm pretty sure she's WAY too thin to have back fat. It looks like her stylist shoved her into it with a shoehorn.

I cant even concentrate on Nicole's dress because I am stuck on her redrunkulous, Barbara Mandrell hair. Ick.
*I mean no offense to Miss Mandrell. You know you had some shameful hair days.

OK..maybe I'm in a bad mood today, and maybe, just maybe, they all look like crap.
No maybe's...I'm in a bad mood BECAUSE they all look like crap!!!!

I wish J-Lo-Hew would go back to being curvier. She doesn't look as good THAT thin, I don't think. her collarbones could cut you.

I miss the BIG hair and trashy looking clothes. That was what was fun about watching the different award shows. They look like every other stylist creation. Oh, and what is with dressing young girls like older women?

Is it just me, or does the botox make you look OLDER? (I'm talking to you Nicole...time to lay off!)

So many times I've disagreed with the "pack" and found a redeeming quality or two but this time - wowee - they all need some help, don't they? Especially Kidman. She is truly odd looking to me now and that dress does nothing for her. Her husband's a hottie though.

potty mouth princess

I guess most of these country gals are nice conservative gals who have no concept of needing a stable of gays to keep them from looking like...well....

...the pictures above.

There have to be some Log Cabin types who can help out girls who want to emulate Sarah Palin.

Nicole Kidman ruined her face with so much botox, She looks ten years older, which is strange, aren't you supposed to look younger with that shit?

Nicole looks rather like a corpse from behind, very troubling. And, if you look at her neck in the profile, it looks like the face is clipped on like a mask.


I usually disagree with one or two of your critiques, but I gotta say you pretty much nailed it with this group. Would love to see a close-up of Jennifer Love-Hewitt's bracelet, though, it looks like it's lovely from what I can see.

they give out awards for country music?

Okay-- it's really saying something when my two favorites are the dresses that you boys said were boring.
Yes they were boring, safe choices-- but they FIT!
And FIT is really and truly important.
I think some of these women/girls need new gays-- and I nominate TLo!

Taylor's first dress would have been nice if it fit.


I guess if they wore denim, boots and hats they would have looked better....

Nicole looks great.
She always does.
To throw eggs at her will only make you look bad yourself.

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