The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
Our current site is here: www.tomandlorenzo.com

We're just not that into these dresses.

Let's take a look at Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, and Scarlett Johansson at the World Premiere of 'He's Just Not That Into You' at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles.

Just for the hell of it.

Lanvin Spring 2009
Model: Anna Selezneva





Hmmm. We don't love. What do you kittens think? We're not sure what's not working here. Is it the silhouette? That skirt's making her look a little thick, no? Is it that ... thing... hanging off her tits? It looks like she wrapped herself in a towel after a shower only the towel was the size of a bedsheet and she had a lot left over. Wait! It's the makeup! That's it! It's the silhouette, PLUS the tit-hanging, PLUS the fact that she looks like she put her makeup on by holding her hand still and moving her head.


Balmain Spring 2009 (Head to toe)
Model: Natasha Poly




Oh. Oh dear.

Jennifer Connelly wants all of us to be thinking of her cooch all the time. Also, she's very proud of the fact that her thighs are exactly as thick as her calves. She worked very hard for that and she doesn't want you to forget it. To be frank, there's nothing about this dress that we like on her. The shape of it does awful things to her body -pointy shoulders! - and we're not crazy about the color. The length is - come on, girl. You want everyone staring at your crotch when you wear a dress that short to get your picture taken. There's no shame in that. Admit it. Perhaps next time a simple arrow pointing down that reads CHECK OUT THE GOODS in sequins.

We do kind of love the shoes even if we don't think they're right for that dress.


Oscar de la Renta Spring 2009
Model: Anja Rubik





Sharp disagreement at Chez T Lo regarding this one. Tom thinks that print is ugly and the dress looks old. Like something Zsa Zsa would have worn 30 years ago. Lorenzo can't put his finger on why he likes it, but he does. Props on the jewelry, though. We both love it. Not so much on the hair.


[Photos: WireImage/Style.com]
79 comments:

thank you thank you for that last review- oh ScarJo. the hair does not suit her (do you think the colour does?); the dress has nice colours but they're used horribly. a crayon box vomited all over her.

why don't you like the colour on Jennifer? green suits her.


I like Drew's shoes.

I think the problem I continually find with Jennifer's leg-baring philosophy of dressing is that she really doesn't have great knees. Everything else on the limbs is good but the knees -- not so much. She needs to accept that and either wear some hosiery or move onto a new look.

And Scarlett looks like she was dressing for an entirely different event than the others...at a different time of the year...in a different part of the world.


Drew: the makeup's not so bad! It's a giant step up from that seriously fug makeup commercial she's in with the brown skin.

Jennifer: She doesn't have the body for the dress, which is weird, because she appears to have exactly the body that the model does. The model may be 12/from a country in which food is scarce; JC's got no such excuse. (maybe im getting too mom-ish here, but this makes me _really_ question the choice of models.) the thing about that dress is that i think it would look way better with a little Joan Holloway going on.

that's the funny thing about that 40s sillouette, big shoulders, big hips trend. i think it looks best on people with some va va voom. but the popular body shape hasnt changed to accomodate.

as to scarjo? oh, scarjo. my nemesis wore a slightly shorter version of that dress to my prom in 1992. yes, the colors are great on her, but otherwise, what a tragedy.


I think Scarlett Johansson looks great, but the outfit is a little too grandiose for the occasion.

The problem, I find, with these celebrities is that most of the time they don't look comfortable, at ease in those dresses.


hey, the model for the de la Renta gown looks more like the old ScarJo. maybe it would have worked slightly better on her if she hadn't wigged out the hair.


@ lvr:
I don't think they meant the color looked bad on her by pointing out a problem with the color of Jennifer's dress. It's just that emerald green is a difficult color to make fashionable; it's very Technicolor, which usually comes off as either dated or costumey. And that dress is so strangely pointy and shiny that the color fails both ways. Ugh. I mean, I see where the designer's going with the leaf thing, but that color is FAR too literal. It's undercutting the design.

However, that color does suit her; you're right. Just not that dress. No.


as always boys you just make my day!

out of the 3, i like drew, but i am a big fan of hers.

as for jennifer, good god that dress looks terrible on her.

as for scarlett, i agree with agness gooch.


Jennifer's dress looks like something Peter Pan would wear to a formal event.

Love everyone's shoes. I liked Scarlett.


Drew looks baaaaad. Hate the entire ensemble from head to toe.

Jennifer ought to sub for the Geico amphibian dressed in that green mess.

Actually I kind of like the pink flowered number. At least it fits the model well. And I do love the earrings.


Drew B.: It looks much better on the model. I also LOVE the shoes the model is wearing.

Jennifer C.: Well, she does like push the envelope; Some women give up the classy high-fashion outfit for a slightly skanky, cleavage and/or leg-showing ensemble.

Scarlett J.: I do like graphic floral-prints, but this does look like a couch. The fabric is also too stiff.


I actually think the Lanvin is really cute on Drew, and she looks great. The color of the bow may not be the best for her, her lipstick shade is a little off, and the fact that she has brain hair, red eyebrows, and a blonde ponytail is really kind of bizarre...but it all works together. The silhouette makes her waist look tiny (which it isn't, in reality). No one in their right mind would think those were her hips filling out that dress rather than the dress itself.

Jennifer Connelly...wtf. This, coupled with last year's Balenciaga ...'incident'...makes it clear that either Jennifer Connelly thinks she is a runway model or that her stylist is the most unimaginative persona live. Neither bodes well for her. Cooch-skimming dresses belong on Megan Fox, not Oscar-winning 30-somethings.

Scarlett...the print is ok (it's intentionally old-looking), and I actually think the dress is quite pretty...but it looks like shit on ScarJo. That dull shade of brown hair isn't doing much for her, and neither is the bland, limp hairstyle. And ho really needed a necklace.


I usually like what Drew wears, but I'm not crazy about this one. It's that the swag at the bust is flesh colored I think.
Jennifer's dress looks like she cut the bottom off one of those dresses that older women with the body of a tree trunk wear to winter weddings. Dowdy and vulgar at the same time.
I think Scarlett has the perfect body for her dress but the hair is all wrong.


I agree on the first two, but I'm a big fan of Scarlett's whole look here.


Holy shit, Scarlett looks pleased with herself! Wonder why.


Bailey said...
And ho really needed a necklace.


I agree. She needed something on her neck.


Is it just me or do all three look like they need a good scrubbing ala Karen Silkwood?

They look dirty, and not in a good way.


Scarlett Johansson's hair looks awful!!!!


Scarlett always looks inordinately pleased with herself.... But she looks like crap here. The hair - color and style - is a disaster. The dress is too formal, too stiff and the print looks dated. And that big ole Obama tat on her arm sure doesn't help.

Drew is a miss in every regard.

I hate the 80's shoulders on JC's dress and it's too short but otherwise I kinda like it. The color works on her. But those shoes are the ugliest things I've ever seen.


I don't mind Drew's look, but I wish her lipstick wasn't so pale. In contrast it looks like she doesn't have any lips at all! I think that things on her boob actually would have looked kinda a pretty as a partial sleeve.

Jennifer? Woo-chile-what WHERE you thinking? That dress was ugly in 1984 when it was first made. Although, I secretly LOVE those shoes and HAVE to buy them!!

Scarlett's dress. Honestly? I really kinda dig it. Put her hair up, change her makeup and I think folks would have loved this a whole lot more.


Scarlett: That's the way my hair looks when it hasn't been washed in recent memory, and then slept on. Gosh, who knew that's called red-carpet ready?!


Drew's dress was too Jessica McClintock for Gunne Sax circa 1989. I would have loved that floppy bow thing and the short velvet dress back then.


Given the subject of the movie, maybe Jennifer was being ironic, coming dressed as Ivana Trump circa 1989.

--GothamTomato


1989!

Jinx!

--GothamTomato


Drew - Cute dress but nothing to jump up and down about. LOVE the shoes, though.

Jennifer - In the words of Princess Puffy Sleeves - hot tranny mess! LOVE the shoes though.

Scarlett - Love the dress, but the pattern looks like my Grandma's couch in the 70s.


I'm not one for ScarJo's new hair color, but I think I figured the dress out--

It would be great as a sundress! The print is a perfect spring-summery halter or bandeau top dress. As a long premiere gown? Ugh. Too much, it ventures into upholstery territory.


I love Drew Barrymore but she really doesn't know how to dress. Jennifer Connelly looks like a ho. Scarlett J. thinks too highly of herself and she ain't that much of a looker when you get up very close.


ScarJo is out for the styling and makeup. Not sure about the dress...feels like old curtains. Kind of as if Maria made it for Liesl Von Trapp.


Kara Lang said...

ScarJo is out for the styling and makeup. Not sure about the dress...feels like old curtains. Kind of as if Maria made it for Liesl Von Trapp.



LOL. yes, very Von Trapp!


I like Drew's hair and Jennifer's shoes and the is all.

TampaBay


I'm going to say that the print on that last dress makes me think there is a not well matched seam down the front, even though that's not the case.


What's so bad about Drew's makeup?
I liked it, very 60s Mad Men retro, but she can handle the pink hues.

The dress is an almost, b/c that hip silhouette makes her look big-bottomed.

All Jennifer needs is a white Top Hat and cane, so she can do a "Sugar Babies" dance sequence with Anne Miller.

ScarJo's dress is wearing her, not the other way around, and the hair and makeup is not giving her that "serious artist" look she may be shooting for. That's Angelina's job nowadays.


Honestly, the only thing I like here are Jennifer's shoes--VERY want! But her dress reminds me of pawing through the dress rack at Salvation Army and finding everybody's 80s "party dresses." Scarlet's dress reminds me very strongly of my mother's bedroom curtains--which is something a dress should not do very often, if at all--and her hair! I thought hair these days was all about volume and waves?

And I can't even talk about Drew's outfit.


The first two dresses have a heavy 80s vibe to them.

I adore Drew, but not this dress. It looks like something I wore 20 years ago, with the exception of the top, which looks as though someone half yanked it off during a cat fight.

Green is Jennifer's color, but the length is too short. And the shoulders are very Alexis Carrington.

I think what seems off about Scarlett's dress is the print. I like it, but still it reminds me of a sun dress you could pick up at Ross Dress for Less five years ago. I like the design of the dress, but feel the print may be too casual for it. If the dress length were above the knees and the event was an outdoor luncheon, then sure.


Anonymous said:
Jennifer's dress looks like something Peter Pan would wear to a formal event.

First, do NOT steal funny from the Fug Girls - wrong wrong wrong.

Second, I agree than Jennifer's stylist has NO imagination. Did you steal the shoes, too, off the runway model the instant she went backstage? Come up with some original, please! Anyone can copy a look from one person to the next - YES, I SAID IT, RACHEL ZOE.


I just love Drew so it is hard for me to criticize her, but I think the dress does look dreadful from the side, not bad from the front. And the hair - Oh, Drew, c'mon, do something with that, she is so cute and loves animals and seems like such a good person, I hate to be catty, but she didn't look her best.
Nancy


Can we have a discussion on seasonality???? It is 16 degrees Fahrenheit in my neck of the woods and I am looking at three women who attended THE SAME EVENT and two look like they are going to the prom and the third one looks like she is going to a Christmas party. Generally I am not big on rules and support casting off the shackles of not wearing white after Labor Day, but this is a bit much, IMO.

Furthermore, this is a year round thing because at the Emmys which have been held in late August / early September in recent years, I start itching and sweating at the sight of all the black and dark blue wool, brocade and velvet on display. I suspect this has a lot to do with the designers offering looks from their latest collections which makes sense up to a point, but it just bugs me for some reason.

Off to take my meds... again.


bitchybitchybitchy

Jennifer Connelly: a simple arrow pointing down saying CHECK OUT THE GOODS in sequins

God, I love you two for that!LOL!

As for Scarlet, I think that fabric was rejected by my mother when she had the Queen Anne love seats reupholstered 25 years ago ago...just sayin'


Gotham Tomato said to SUS:

1989!

Jinx!


SUS.

There, you're unjinxed.


Anonymous said...
ScarJo's dress is wearing her, not the other way around, and the hair and makeup is not giving her that "serious artist" look she may be shooting for...


I think that's what motivates some blondes to go dark. Reminds me of Jillian Barbarie in her Jenny Craig commerical. Dark, slicked down, lifeless hair that looks oily and unwashed. There are better ways to go brunette.


"agnes gooch said: There, you're unjinxed."



Mmmm...Not so fast.

I believe there is supposed to be a free drink involved in the unjinxing process.

--GothamTomatoMartini


jennifer connoly, in possibly the most offensive of the 3 dresses, still wins to me because her hair, makeup, and especially eyebrows are delish. i love her coloring. scar jo and drew, on the other hand, seem to be doing everything they can these days to either wash themselves out completely or put on makeup out of my caboodle from...wait for it...1989.


Drew is definitely into the 60s sex kitten look these days. Me no likey the dress at all. And IMO, the shoes have her feet/calves at such an angle that she looks like she has piano legs (she doesn't)

Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer... oh my. Oh my.

Scarlett looks like she grabbed some Waverly floral upholstery fabric and whipped it up into a dress, kind of like the classic Carol Burnett line about seeing her dress in the window. I do love the earrings.


The worst thing out of the 3 pictures is ScarJo's hair, I actually like the dress, I couldn't even tell it was her at first, lay off the straight iron...


Someone made a dress out of my bube's couch.

Whoda thunk it?

Oh, Jennifer's dress- which drag queen rejected that?


Seasonal issues aside:
Drew Barrymore - Looks fabulous and I think the silhouette works quite favorably. Interestingly the dress, a Lanvin no less, looks kinda cheap from a materials and construction standpoint. Love the ponytail. My first inclination was that she needed brighter make up, but upon further review, I like the nude look. I am not getting the TLo comment about the makeup and breast saggage, but that may be a computer resolution thing. IN.

Jennifer Connelly - Wrong, wrong, wrong!!! But if I had those legs, I would be rocking the gyno-chic look too. OUT, but not majorly so.

Scarlett Johansson - I like the hair, makeup and dress, just not all together and not on her. Also, she looks like she hasn't exhaled in the last 3 hours. Isn't she in her early 20s, she looks older. OUT, but again not majorly so.

All three have winning smiles and I give them credit for not going the safe route.


I just remembered where I had seen that dress before. Jennifer is wearing Headdaleattuce's old show costume from the 80s.
Love the hair, shoes and makeup though.


Anonymous said...
The dress is too formal, too stiff and the print looks dated. And that big ole Obama tat on her arm sure doesn't help.

10:45 AM


Hunh????????????? o_0

Didn't see a tatoo, but the dress was nicely fitted... for a bedspread pattern.


I love Drew, but that cheesy cross tattoo is so 1992! I'd love to see her get some cover-up work done on it. I'm all about tattoos, but not bad, pseudo-biker tattoos.


I think Drew actually looks very pretty. The make-up doesn't bother me, and I like her hair and her shoes. The dress, though, does tend to make her look a bit hippy.

Jennifer picked a good color, but the dress is too damn short.

I'm neither here nor there on Scarlett's dress, but I don't like her hair. It's boring.


Morgan Mayhem

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
The dress is too formal, too stiff and the print looks dated. And that big ole Obama tat on her arm sure doesn't help.

10:45 AM


Hunh????????????? o_0

Didn't see a tatoo, but the dress was nicely fitted... for a bedspread pattern.

1:22 PM


It is not an Obama tattoo, but it certainly is ugly.

You can barely see it on her right arm in the 2nd, 3rd, and 5th photos of her. She must have been drunk.


Honesty.not.pc

Drew's saggy titscrepancy has got to go. I love the shoes though!

Poor Jennifer, she is stunningly beautiful (nbow that she has had her eyebrows tamed), but she looks like a hooker dryad in that. Perhaps she is starring in Midsummer Nights Dream after the premire? Again, love the shoes.

Scarlet looks like she wandered in from another event. The print is ugly but it sorta works for the dress. I like the shape and length of the gown. Her hair is aweful! Stringy and lifeless and straightened to death.


I hope ScarJo's hair is for a film she's working on. Too trailer trash for such a stylish, sophisticated young lady. From experience, "Bube's couch" (antares, you're a hoot!)is not appropriate premiere wear. The length for the occasion is all wrong.

I really like Drew's look. For once she looks effortless and comfortable instead of exhausted from trying too hard.

Jennifer Connelly's dress looks more suited for 1 of the Morgans-- Brittany or Fairchild (no, GT not Freeman-- though maybe in his Electric Company days!) for a Flamingo Road premiere circa 1980. There's nothing about the dress that's flattering or beautiful for a fashion forward woman of today.
The shoes are kickin', though.


It is not an Obama tattoo, but it certainly is ugly.

You can barely see it on her right arm in the 2nd, 3rd, and 5th photos of her. She must have been drunk.

1:32 PM

________________________________

I stand corrected. Unless she's had it reworked. I had seen some pictures of her where the tat clearly looked like the Obama logo that he used during the campaign (the one that looks like a Pepsi logo). And I know she was a strong supporter of him. Either way, its ugly and mars her beauty. But then I hate tats of any kind, on anybody.


Morgan Mayhem said...
It is not an Obama tattoo, but it certainly is ugly.

You can barely see it on her right arm in the 2nd, 3rd, and 5th photos of her. She must have been drunk.

1:32 PM

Goodness, it IS ugly! LOL!


Scarlet J looks like my late grandmother's sofa. And not in a good way.

SisterZip


Kinda liked Drew's look. HATED the other two. Jennifer is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Why dress so ugly?!


Alas and alack, my hair looks a lot like ScarJo's. However, if I had her money and access, I'd do something much better with it!


That edgy look suits Jennifer well. I just wish she weren't so frighteningly thin. She's as thin if not more thin than the model. *sigh*


I'm with you across the board.
Scarlet's dress looks like patio furniture cushions from 1976.
-Windy City Wendy


Drew's dress didn't suit her, but not terrible. Jennifer's dress looked like a line for line copy of something made in India out of the 1980s. Emerald green Dynasty anyone? Like ScarJo's dress, but the length looked silly for that occasion and with her hair. Would have liked the dress shorter and something... else for the hair.


Gotham Tomato(Martini)said...

I believe there is supposed to be a free drink involved in the unjinxing process.


OK, Coke if we're playing kid rules. Coke and rum if we're playing grownup rules.


Grackle Girl said...
I think what seems off about Scarlett's dress is the print. I like it, but still it reminds me of a sun dress you could pick up at Ross Dress for Less five years ago. I like the design of the dress, but feel the print may be too casual for it. If the dress length were above the knees and the event was an outdoor luncheon, then sure.


Oscar did have a dress like you describe in the S 2009 collection, also a short sleeved Spring coat in this fabric worn over a chartreuse dress that was fabu.


SUS said...

Drew's dress was too Jessica McClintock for Gunne Sax circa 1989.
---------
OMG! Too damn funny!

I just don't get ScarJo - I don't find her interesting or attractive.

Jennifer can be beautiful - if she dressed better.

Drew - I love Drew - Gunne Sax or not!

Thanks for the spot on post TLo - and thanks to the posters - you all make my day!


SCARLETT JOHANSEN HAS NEVER LOOKED WORSE. b a r f. go back to blond, or get out of town. and that dress is narsty.

and i hate jennifer's get-up. stewpid dress.


formerlyAnon

Drew - I dislike the makeup, too washed out, and the dress is a miss on her. I think I would like it on the hanger/dress stand, and maybe she did too?

Jennifer - I'm with all of those calling out feelings of 80's deja vu. Sewing Siren was right with "Jennifer's dress looks like she cut the bottom off one of those dresses that older women with the body of a tree trunk wear to winter weddings," and one of the Anon's said pretty much the same thing with an older Ann Miller reference. I liked the color, though.

Re Ms. Scarlett, I have to say I am (finally) in agreement with Lorenzo. I like the dress, I think it works because it is so intentionally a grandma print in pool house colors. As a short dress, yes, it would be very sundress at the pool party. I think it fails because her shoulders/face/hair didn't have the oomph to balance the dress's impact. Or maybe they were too casual to keep the dress out of poolside territory.


Jennifer's shoes could double as a chastity belt.


I took one look at Jennifer Con and thought of the Jolly Green Giant. It's like the slutty Halloween sidekick costume. Ug.


Beef and Fur

Drew looks sweet in that dress. Again, the angle of the picture seems to over play that tit bow thing. She looks absolutely adorable in the side view with the ponytail. Dare I say Upper East Side? Skirt could be a scootch shorter and maybe a bit more fitted. LOVE the shoes. And the clutch.

IN.

LOVE ScarJo's dress! Something about it draws me in. I love the ruched bust and the pattern and the color. The pattern is bold, but seems to have a nice balance of "empty" space to counter the boldness. Also love that the pattern is not symmetrical.
The fit is stunning and the tight sheathing effect countered by the fullness of the train is quite nice.

HATE the hair. Why can't she wear a nice chignon or a twist so we can see the gorgeous line of her neck and shoulders? If she is going to wear her hair down to mitigate the amount of skin exposed she might as well put a ShellyO cardigan on.

IN.

I have no words for the “Green 1/8 Mile” that is the dead dress walking on JennCo. You boys hit it right on the head. Or cooch. She gets points for buying the outfit right off of the model, down to the shoes. Funny, she has the same legs and build as the model, but those tits ruin the lines. The dress looks good on the model for the same reason it would look good on a hanger. Not the same for a real woman with more curves as JennCo exemplifies.

OUT.


It seems that I owe you a drink, Gotham Tomato. When's the TLounge opening again? I'll be the one in the vintage '80s Jessica McClintock prom gown.


ScarJo's dress just doesn't work without that necklace the model is wearing, the hair is a big NO.
I love Jennifer's shoes!
Drew's dress is meh, and the make-up is straight-up scary.


My evil cousin that upholsters her giant ass in Lily Pulitzer had a dress JUST like Jennifer's, only in a mermaidy color. And 6 inches longer. In--as mentioned already--1989! I'm sure it was from the Krystal Carrington collection. The shoes are awesome, though. That style was all over the issue of Harpers that I was reading at the salon....

I think Scarlett would have been okay with better hair. That is a Whole Lotta Dress and it needs intentional hair to go with it. She has the body to make that dress work for her instead of the other other way around.

And seriously, wrinkles? On the carpet? No. Loved the color with that necklace, though.

Drew. I adore you. I want to be your buddy. And as such, I would tell you to fire your stylist b/c he HATES you.


At first, I thought I liked Drew's look, but that may just be because I love her. The more I look at it, though, the more I hate it. It really DOES make her look bottom-heavy, plus that hangy bit at the bust is just distracting. Looks like she got it caught somewhere and it started to unravel. The makeup...for me it's the lipstick that is off. That color is horrible on her. I like the eyes, though. And the hair is cute.

Jennifer Connelly is a beautiful woman. It's such a shame that she has no mirrors in her home.

Scarlett...what the hell? She's a beautiful, vibrant woman in her 20s. In 2009. Why does she look like she's about to board The Love Boat?


Is Jennifer appearing in a drag version of Peter Pan?


What you call "thick" I call "woman" and I like it.

And I like the pink print! Not just another cookie cutter dress.


I think they all look absolutely gorgeous. I would have liked to see Scarlett's hair with more volume, but I fell in love with that dress a long time ago. Drew looks better than her model side shot.


:) SUCH A GREAT CAST!!!


Drew's shoes are Miu Miu. Fabulous.


myicourse


there's no joy in Drew's dress. . . its ok, but its kinda like that fake smile you put on when your gramma gives you socks for christmass





BALMAIN for women

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Loading...

Project Runway