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Golden Globe Awards - Part 2

We've got work to do, ladies, so roll up your sleeves and hoist up your tits and let's get bitchy:

January Jones in Versace Spring 2009

Kudos to her for finally bringing it because Miss Jones has made some very unfortunate red carpet decisions in the past. We suspect that had a little to do with people's expectations. When she's in costume and in character for Mad Men, she usually looks ridiculously good just because she so embodies what was defined as beautiful for that period. It can be hard for an actress who looks like she belongs in another era to bring it modern style, but for once, she did it. Although we think it looked better with the belt.

Marisa Tomei in Oscar de la Renta Spring 2009

This has been called a disaster by others but to be honest, we didn't hate it. Oh, the sleeves are too puffy and she should have worn half as much jewelry and fired her hairstylist, but it was something different and we applaud that.

Jennifer Lopez in Marchesa Spring 2009

La Diva Loca is back, bitches. THAT is how Jennifer Lopez is supposed to look.

Kristin Scott Thomas in Lanvin

Beautiful, classic and age-appropriate. Can't go wrong with that.

Evan Rachel Wood in Elie Saab Fall 2008 Couture

Black can be pretty dull on the red carpet but this was a standout.

Eva Longoria Parker in Reem Acra


Demi Moore in Christian Dior Spring 2009

A pretty and slightly unusual-looking dress. Big props to her for not going the transparent route.

Christina Applegate in Roberto Cavalli

Pretty but plain. We have this thing about dresses that match the wearer's hair. We don't mind it so much if you have black hair or brown hair. But redheads in orange and blondes in yellow look too monotone to us.

Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta Spring 2009

Another dress that stands out even though it's in basic black. This frock moved beautifully.

Christina Hendricks wearing Tadashi Shoji

Oh, Christina. This is not doing you any favors and neither is that hairstyle.

America Ferrera in Oscar de la Renta Pre-Fall 2009

It would have looked better in the black.

Kyra Sedgwick wearing Oscar de la Renta

That dress is gorgeous but she looks so brittle and undernourished. Have a burger and a beer, Kyra.

Laura Linney in Elie Saab Spring 2008 Couture

A stunningly beautiful dress that looks fantastic on her but again, we think yellow on a blonde has a washed-out effect. This, in blue, would have looked amazing on her.

Angelina Jolie wearing Atelier Versace

Bitch isn't even trying anymore.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Lanvin Spring 2009

From The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears.

Mary Louise Parker in Carlos Miele Spring 2009

A beautiful dress that fits her like a glove. The color looks great on her and on the red carpet even if it's not a color we particularly love.

Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera Pre-Fall 2009

Crazy lady.

[Photos: Getty Images/WireImage/]

I saw the photo of Maggie and before I read the caption I really thought you were going to tell us all that Kenley made it... . Scary.

And I just gotta say that I appreciate the fact Ms. Hendricks actually seems to like to highlight her hips. She's got 'em, use 'em, I say!

Most of the other outfits are kinda yawnie and de rigeur Red Carpet.

:::sigh::: Where are the Bjorks and Tilda Swintons and wacked-out Juiliette Binoches?

P.S. That Marchessa model is disturbingly thin. Why would you want to put an expensive dress on an emaciated woman who seems so unhealthily thin is beyond me... .

I absolutely hated January Jones' dress. It didn't fit her right and it was cheesy. I've also hear other comments such as 80's prom and Vegas cocktail dress.

What was her emotional problem? She didn't smile in any of the shots I saw of her on the carpet or at the table. Was she forced to attend? She didn't look like she was enjoying herself at all.

What was different about her? I can't figure. If she wasn't at the same table as the rest of the cast I wouldn't have know it was her.

And, oh, I almost forgot. Pockets on an evening dress?

SO on point... Mary Louise Parker FTW! Though, I have to say, I disagree about Eva Longoria... I think she looked amazing, and the color and the fit of that dress were perfect.

January She is gorgeous, and her hair and makeup is to die for, but that dress is kinda weird. The belt would've helped.

Marisa Tomei looks like a pirate wench. Different is good, but this is way costumey for the red carpet.

JLo looks like shit in that Marchesa. Tightly pulled-back hair, check. Revealing gold dress, check. Ridiculously vapid 'sexy' look on face, check. Yawn. Isn't JLo dead yet?

Kristin Scott Thomas looks age appropriate? Is she 65? Gah, even Meryl Streep turned that thing down for being too dowdy.

EVR in that Elie Saab dress was simply stunning.

I thought I was the only one who thought Eva Longoria's dress was really boring and safe for her. Everyone on E! and Extra and all that shit gushed over it.

Christina Applegate's necklace was killer.

Christina Hendricks looks like a rabid Russian prostitute. And what's with the 80-pound boob shelf? Good God, she looks ridiculous.

Angelina looks like she woke up, picked that dress off the floor of her bedroom, got into her limo, and stepped onto the carpet. Not trying, indeed, but then I've never really liked her fashion sense.

Why do I feel like I've seen Maggie Gyllenhaal wear this dress a bunch of times already?

Mary Louise Parker's dress is fug. I hate how that front detailing ends at her knees so abruptly. It looks much better on the model.

Renee fucking Zellweger...needs to lay off the A) Carolina Herrera, B) collagen, C) Restylane, D) Botox, E) squinting, F) pouting, and G) period films. It looks like she thought she was attending Theodore Roosevelt's inauguration rather than the Golden Globes.

Speaking of hoisting up their T...
Kyra's dress had nothing to hold it up (and nothing TO hold up) and still the side view made it look like they would have been closer to her navel.

Angelina - that dress (and her arms) made me think of the pics of Amy Winehouse with her emaciated, yet rectangular shape.

Huh, I loved the rich royal blue of May Louise Parker's dress

Oh, and PS, was that Angelia Jolie's pajamas?

Your pictures make JLo look good in the dress. but the pictures here...

paint a more realistic picture. For us mere mortals, it would be OK to show a few bulges. For her, it was a poor choice; she could have looked stunning in a different dress that covered the little rolls.

Maybe I am just jealous that I will never look even that good again.... (or did I ever??)

Excellent commentary as always, TLo!
Yeah, Christina Hendricks' ensemble wasn't perfect, but the woman is the embodiment of luscious, so she could be wrapped in Reynolds (wrap) & I'd still sigh in appreciation.
Zellweger looks like the lady who throws cats on "The Simpsons".

Sidewalk Story said...

And, oh, I almost forgot. Pockets on an evening dress?

That is 1 trend that must be stopped immediately. If you want to be comfortable @ such an auspicious event that badly, wear your housecoat or some dungarees (I'm channeling Mama P-- don't ask me why).

I thought Amy Adams was overwhelmed by her dress. The bodice did not highlight her "assets" at all.

I'm w/ Anon 10:19-- I miss the whackado! Where's Sally Kirkland when you need her!

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

"Bitch isn't even trying anymore."
"From The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears."

Why can't you two do commentary instead of those idiots on NBC and E!?

Thanks for the giggles!

January Jones: Meh dress, but loved the hair.
Marisa Tomei: Dinner at Grandma's?
Jennifer Lopez: Hate the dress, but she always makes that style work.
Kristin Scott Thomas: Dress style Ok, but the color is burlap yukky.
Rachel Wood: Gorgeous
Eva Longoria: A large tomato aspic
Demi Moore: BORING
Christina Applegate: Ok..but the skirt is ugly.
Amy Adams: gorgeous gown, horrible hair
Christina Hendricks: BIG OUT (What? another Glad trash bag?)
America Ferrara: Loved the dress in black on the model. WTH is with these gals and their hair? America's looks terrible.
Kyra Sedgwick: Gorgeous gown, gorgeous hair, but, TLo, you are so right. Give the gal some gift certificates to Burger King.
Laura Linney: Like the gown, hate the washed out yellow color.
Angelina Jolie: ARGHHHHHHH
Maggie Gyllenhaal: YIKES
Mary Louise Parker: LURVE IT!
Renee Zellweger: Another YIKES!

"Crazy lady."

Yeah. Renee Zelweger is turning into Elaine Stritch.

Mary Louise Parker is the standout winner here. That dress was GORGEOUS. Demi Moore's Dior coming in a close second.

And I always love Oscar de la Renta, but the one on Marissa looked to matronly, I think. But maybe that was the styling rather than the outfit.

I totally agree about yellow dresses on blondes. Always a bad choice; They look too ladies-who-lunch when they do that.

And who was it in that blocky, black origami gown? Awful.


Fabulous post, TLo! Thank you for the runway shots.

Mary-Louise Parker looks fabulous. Renne Zellweger does look like a crazy lady. That dress is horrible and I usually like everything Carolina Herrera does. I think January Jones' dress is gorgeous but it looks wrinkled and a bit off on her. Well, it didn't help that she looked like she was constipated.

I can't wait for part 3 : )

Oh, I did like Marisa Tomei's look on the model. I didn't think it was that bad.

Re Angelina: "Bitch isn't even trying anymore"

LOL and thanks, guys, for helping me get my bitch on.

Marisa Tomei just needed another fitting. Look how great that outfit is when work on a ramrod-straight, taller woman? Unusual choice but could have been gorgeous.

Poor Christina Hendricks.

Evan Rachel Thomas, who I've never heard of (so sue me!) looked so gorgeous I could almost not believe it. Hair looked great, makeup Perfect.

What was with the taupe dresses? blech. Looks good on hardly anyone, even the most gorgeous women (I'm looking at you, Angelina, and Kristin!).

Applegate's necklace: WANT.

Amy Adams: Pretty dress, but she's very tiny and it's wearing her. A for effort, though.

lastly, I just don't know about January Jones. Maybe it's the shade of blue? I just didn't like it. I wanted to like it.

I'm so glad this blog is here.

"Yeah. Renee Zelweger is turning into Elaine Stritch."

Except for one difference - Elaine Stritch can act

Did anyone catch Princess Puffysleeves on E last night tearing apart the red carpet looks? He definitely needs a new signature move - the preening-pout-pose is getting so last season. But I loved Miss Jaye!

I thought Marisa Tomei's outfit wasn't terrible, but she looked like she had the flu or something. Poor thing looked like she was ready to collapse on national TV.

And while I like Kristin Scott Thomas' dress, I thought the color washed her out. And she should definitely go back to blonde after she finished whatever role she went dark for.

Hmmm. We diverge a bit:

JLo looks like she's attending the hooker prom.

Eva L-P looks great.

Christina Applegate? David's Bridal.

Maggie G: Thank God for her actually pushing the envelope, or the evening would have been dullsville.

Otherwise, in complete agreement with your usual terse and insightful assessments.

I know the recession is bad, but bitches don't fire those stylists.

I thought KST's dress was lovely but the color was to drab for her. Better left to a redhead.

I also hate blondes in yellow. Thanks for pointing that out.

Bailey said...

Kristin Scott Thomas looks age appropriate? Is she 65? Gah, even Meryl Streep turned that thing down for being too dowdy.

My thoughts exactly. Kind of has a matronly mother-of-the-bride vibe to it. And I realize she's almost 50, but that doesn't have to mean dull and dowdy.

Other than that, I agree with every other observation. It's fun slowly scrolling down, reacting to the dress, and then scrolling further for Tlo's commentary.

The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears LOL! Maggie reminds me of a silent screen actress or someone from a different time period. I think the wrong look can age her and this dress was not a good choice.

*snort* I kept scrolling down, thinking, "They must be saving Zellweger for last." I'll admit, I was expecting a lengthier discourse about her, but really... what else can you say? Crazy lady, indeed.

Thank you guys for my morning chuckle! Spot on, as usual, but I would add that Amy Adams needed an actual hairstyle to carry that dress.

And JLo? Yes, that's what she, as a delightfully deranged diva, SHOULD look like. On a normal human though, that's way too much shiny gold stretched over way too much tush, and, honey, we've all seen all of your bits before. Cover up, and work on your career.

Agree on everything EXCEPT that E.L.P. looked fantastic and that red dress rocked.

I don't think I disagreed with a single one of your assessments, but I would have liked to see Kristen Scott Thomas's dress in a brighter color. I felt as if the color it is (whatever it is) brought out some sandpapery qualities in her skin.

I actually like Renee's gown on her, I think she looks like a fun gal to party with.

the Necklace on Christina Applegate..I. Die!

TVGuide's discourse on the dresses featured a woman with center parted dark brown hair styled to resemble a Cocker Spaniel I once loved. She gushed about how she was Angelina's stylist and they collaborated on that dress that was custom made for AJ.

Were almost all of the dresses borrowed?
Hems trailing on the ground all around are not a good thing for women walking forward onto the hems.

Thank you thank you thank you!


From the Blanche Devereux collection at Sears: Priceless, bitches!!

RE: Angelina Jolie-perhaps she figures with Brad on her arm she doesn't need more...just a thought

Christina Hendricks-the bodice of that gown was not flattering-and neither was the hair-new gays, please!

I agree with most of your comments. However, I think the problem with C.H.'s look is that many designers nowadays have some sort of aversion to true curves. It looks likes she was trying in vain to find a way to downplay her girls and be fashion-forward at the same time.

Let's face it, it's difficult to be stacked and dress elegantly (at least in many fashions these days), and Miss H is built like a brick house. That's why she looks so great on "Mad Men"; those clothes were made for va-va-voom. While I wouldn't advise her to go retro, she and her stylist need to take three lessons from the show's costumes - structure, support and tailoring.

Isn't Jolie rumored to be pregnant again?

Christina Applegate and I are the same age (37) and, while she is (and has remained) totally cute, I'm always shocked by her deep crow's feet - you can really see them in profile view. I'm glad she's not Botoxed to death, but these still seem pretty extreme for her age. I wonder if she's a heavy smoker? Someone get this girl a good moisturizing eye cream!

The clear winner for me: Evan Rachel Wood. The dress was stunning, fit her perfectly and her makeup and hair were just right. So glad to see that she's maybe coming out of her Marilyn Manson phase.

The Elie Saab dress worn by Laura Linney was my favorite. Just gorgeous. But agreed, the color was wrong for her. At least her hair, makeup and jewelry were good for a change.

I liked Marisa Tomei's look - for a much older woman. Ditto Kristin Scott Thomas. Way too MOB and the color did her no favors.

January Jones' dress was off in some way - the tab near her shoulder seemed to be flipped and the dress seemed a bit wrinkled. Agree that it looks better with the belt.

The hot messes: Maggie Gyllenhall (hated, hated everything about this look. It aged her by about 30 years) and Renee Zellweger. Crazy cat lady just about sums it up.

Anonymous said...

Christina Applegate and I are the same age (37) and, while she is (and has remained) totally cute, I'm always shocked by her deep crow's feet - you can really see them in profile view. I'm glad she's not Botoxed to death, but these still seem pretty extreme for her age. I wonder if she's a heavy smoker? Someone get this girl a good moisturizing eye cream!

She has smoked on and off for years, but she also mentioned on the red carpet she has been really tired and worn-out lately from her cancer, double mastectomy, and chemo treatments. Maybe you can send her some of that eye cream along with your apology note.

JLo looked old and sadly hoochie in that dress. I'm surprised that you guys liked it, considering your interventions with Heidi's age inappropriate short skirts. Must have been blinded by the rays of all that gold.

Angelina looks so unhappy lately, I'm concerned that she's got post-partum depression. Maybe she's just exhausted or fed up with Hollywood glitz, but something is wrong.

Christina Hendricks should stick to the lines she wears on Mad Men which are so flattering for her figure. Love her so much, but that dress was so, so wrong.

Rene Zelleweger reminded me of Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke. How does this happen that stars go so wrong? Makes me feel better about Michelle O's election night misstep

Ladies, ladies. The pale taupes and yellows are, like braids and locs and the liberal use of the endearment "girlfriend" NOT FOR THE WHITE PEOPLE. These are colors for our more pigmentally gifted sisters. Pasty faces need to avoid the pasty dresses! I HAVE SPOKEN.

Christina Applegate atones with the necklace, though. It's gorgeous.

Renee 'sour lemon face' zellwegger's dress looked like it was on backwards. And Christina Applegate needs to lay off the botox. She looks like she's baring her teeth, not smiling.

I know Angelina Jolie has this reputation for being "curvy," but it's always been obvious to be that she's straight up and down, just with big breasts. That dress makes her look even more boxy than usual.

Oh Renee was a mess and then she turned around...

What no one saw on Renee's dress was the horrible exposed silver zipper running down the back. Seriously, that bitch of an exposed zipper looked more like part of a back brace than a trend. I wish I could find the pic of it.

If you happen to catch a rerun of E!'s fashion recap, you can catch a glimpse of the back brace zipper.

January Jones: Like it, if it fit better and had the belt I would love it.

Marissa Tomei: that is not a red carpet dress - that is a 5-year-old-dressing-up-in-grandma's-attic dress

JLO: Like someone else said - isn't she dead already?

Kristin Scott Thomas: Like the dress, hate the color

ER Wood: good dress, good styling, but nothing jaw-dropping

Eva: FABULOUS - work it girl

Demi: cute dress, but dear lord girl lay off the self-tanner

Christina Applegate: like the dress, love the jewelry and the hair. I will have to disagree with TLO - blondes look hot in yellow, just think of renee zelweger at the oscars (i think it was oscars) a few years back.

Amy Adams: love the dress but the styling isn't doing her any favors - she looks 10-15 years older

Christina Hendricks: ...? um, yeah, moving on

America: cute dress BUT 1. it would have been better in black and 2. no offense, but this works much better on stick thin girls - come on America, you've got curves so flaunt them, don't hide behind beige potato sacks

Kyra Segwick: Love the back but she looks like her boobs are frowning

Laura Linney: FUCKING GORGEOUS, seriously, jaw-droppingly gorgeous

Angelina Jolie: ugh, I am SOOO over her

Maggie G: she looks like a tranny muppet swallowed her

Mary Louise Parker: love the dress, love the color

renee: she got lost on the way to a funeral at the moulin rouge

I am sure Jennifer Lopez does not have a lot of fat on her back and waist, but the cut of this gown makes her look like her fat is squeezing over the edge of the fabric. Ugh. Too much, Jennifer.

I thought Eva L.'s dress fit her beautifully and she looked beautiful, but it was so boring.. I felt like I've seen her look that way a million times. Just to prove how bored I was, after her they panned to Maggie G. and my first thought was, "I love it!" But I think my eyes were just happy to see something I had to think about, and after thinking about it, I don't love it so much (Blanche Devereaux LOL). Also hate the blondes in the yellow dresses. If a mom in Atlanta knows this is a mistake, how is it that the stylists don't get it? I thought Angelina's dress was terribly unflattering and boring. It accented her little tummy bulge that mommy's get - why do that??

This comment has been removed by the author.

I was stunned at the riches - so many looks, and so many of them good on the wearers! I am *not* bothered by some of them being "boring" - so often beautiful women with professional assistance manage to look awkward or downright awful at these events - just avoiding disaster seems to be more difficult than one would thing and I am not bored by it.

I thought KST's could have been the stand out look, had it been in a COLOR; it provided the graceful and elegantly draped coverage that after a certain age is far more elegant than bare skin. Particularly when the bareness reveals aging skin slightly sagging over fatless bone and tendon - thinner is not always a good idea as time marches!

And JLo looked, uh, very JLo. On the whole, I like - it may not be all that flattering but there's a "take no prisoners!" attitude I admire. I can see her aging into Celia Cruz's outfits in her 70's. (Ms. Cruz was the queen of Cuban salsa singers who died in 2003 in her late 70's. Never a frail slip of a girl, as body broadened and she aged, her extravagant, gaudy, stage wear simply became more and more like sequined armor. But that woman could sing and dance almost to the very end!)

As always, the high point of it all is the TLo commentary:

"From The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears"

Hits it on the head!

I love Oscar de la Renta Kyra Sedgwick wore. Beautiful color beautiful silhouette... just divine.

While I wasn't particularly blown away by Marisa Tomei, my first thought was "good for her" for going a different route. So many celebs are so overly styled, that these awards shows almost become predictable. Beyonce? Yeah, she'll be in a sparkly metallic. Eva Longoria? She'll be in a jewel tone.

The red carpet needs more risk takers. I'd rather see something interesting rather than the same old, dull thing.

Sewing Siren said...

3. The skirt is pretty, but only JLo could wear that bodice. I adore the hair ornament the model has on. It softens the look a bit.

5.Evan Rachel Wood- It IS a lovely dress, but lost is a sea of lovely black dresses.

9. Now that is a black dress that stands out. Amy Adams looks terrific!

14. I love Maggie Gyllenhaal. I love Blanche Devenroe. And I love Sears. Okay, maybe not Sears....

3. The model isn't wearing a hair ornament - that's her hair, all fugged up and Greek Goddess "natural," per Marchesa's lame styling dictates.

5. and 9. Evan Rachel Wood's Elie Saab gown is soooo much more dramatic and unique than Amy Adams' Oscar de la Renta. I agreed with your ERW comment about black dresses, but then couldn't believe what you said about Amy Adams's, as if she stands out or looks anything more than just ok.

14. I guess you don't love Blanche all that much, considering her last name is "Devereaux," and not "Devenroe." TLo simply made a spelling don't even have the name right!

I love Maggie Gyllenhaal.I love Blanhce Devereaux. And gosh darn it I love Sears. Okay, maybe not Sears...but you know what I mean.
On a similar note I went to a Hollywood themed New Years Eve party costume party dressed as Norma Desmond and nobody knew who that was. Sad.

I had comments about every single dress , but my computer ate it. Damn.

Best red carpet write up on the net. I expected no less. You delivered. Renee' looked like a crazy cat lady escaping from a street car named desire "I'm ready for my close Mr. Demille." LOL

Dang it, I meant Sunset Blvd. Sarcasm lost.

Here it was, Sewing Siren.

Sewing Siren said...

1. January's dress would be better for a Spring event. But it does look good on her.
2. Love the dres Marisa is wearing, but her hair is unflattering.
3. The skirt is pretty, but only JLo could wear that bodice. I adore the hair ornament the model has on. It softens the look a bit.
4. Kristen Scott's is a bit boring.
5.Evan Rachel Wood- It IS a lovely dress, but lost is a sea of lovely black dresses.
6. The bodice is too low Eva Longoria Parker!
7. Is she the one that got the face transplant?
8. Christina Applegate is also wearing a Spring dress, otherwise it's okay.
9. Now that is a black dress that stands out. Amy Adams looks terrific!
10. I don't know her and her dress bores me.
11. America looks very pretty, but I think a jewel tone would have been even better.
12. I'm looking past poor Kyra to the lady in the hot pink sheath.
13. Agreed Laura's dress is too pale for her.
14. I love Maggie Gyllenhaal. I love Blanche Devenroe. And I love Sears. Okay, maybe not Sears....
On a similar note I went to a Hollywood themed dress up New Years Eve party as Norma Desmond. And nobody knew who that was. Sad.
15. Yeah, Angelina isnt even trying. Bitch.
16. Pretty.
17. The dress is kind of cool. Memorable at least. Her face looks frozen. Was she drunk?

Anyone else getting tired of J.Lo's one trick pony? Girlfriend, the titty tape plunging neckline and open back has been DONE before. All by J.Lo herself. She needs to go a new direction!!!

I pretty much agree with everything, but I thought Maggie G. looked lovely. It's an unusual dress and I thought she pulled it off well.

Liberal use of the word "Girlfriend" not for white people? Why the eff not?!

Laura Linney could have saved herself if she did a red lip. IMHO.

Angelina's pregnant, you guys. I wish I looked like that in the first trimester - I'd have been there in my bathrobe. Accentuated with a cute belt and puke stains.


Renee Zellweger-crazy is right!
January Jones-pretty dress, needed more jazz
Marisa Tomei-bad hair, liked the dress-she made it work
Jennifer Lopez: typical for her, the vamp look is getting a little tired
Kristin Scott Thomas: she looked older than she is I thought, the color (or lack there-of) did nothing for her
Evan Rachel Wood-finally a pretty dress AND pretty, not-overdone make-up
Eva Longoria Parker-equally as predictable as JLo
Demi Moore-despite it being a neutral color, pretty! also very glad she went for the opaque version
Mary Louise Parker-my favorite dress out of all I think
Christina Applegate-really liked it! and the necklace was gorgeous
Amy Adams-loved the dress but it seemed like it was swallowing her and she needed different hair
Christina Hendricks-dress just wasn't flattering on her
America Ferrara-I liked the dress, black might have been better but not out in my opinion
Kyra Sedgwick-beautiful dress but she really looks emaciated
Laura Linney-she looked great, didn't think it washed her out too much
Angelina Jolie-zzzzzz
Maggie Gyllenhaal-I liked it but maybe wouldn't have chosen it

I think Jlo looked awful.

Eva looked lovely.

And many lols at the Maggie G. comment. :]

The other thing I forgot was Marisa Tomeii - you know what the only difference between a Marisa Tomeii and a JLo is? Attitude. Every time you see Marisa she's got that apologetic look on her face, like she knows she looks like crap and is doing some kind of self-depracating thing. It drives me bonkers. JLo, on the other hand, takes an admittedly completely foolish dress and owns it so completely that even TLo has to give props.

If you're going to wear silly clothes you have to commit 100%.

Maggie and Rene look like they should be behind a security door and heavily medicated. If I saw either one of them on the street I'd sprint to the other side, with mace at the ready.

Anonymous (2:02) said, "Anyone else getting tired of J.Lo's one trick pony?"

Gawd, yes! I cannot say it any better than the folks as msn so I will paraphrase that comment. This dress is a repeat of her Versace at the Grammys with P. Diddy, which was three husbands, two children and one hot career ago.

January Jones: Pleats only a Project Runway reject could love on a figure that would've knocked a vintage ballgown out of the park. Sad.

Marisa Tomei: That was a new gown? The shirt looks like the designer knocked over a Victorian dress shop via time machine.

JLo: She needs to start researching a different look, but that's mostly because she's going to be a little old in a few years to make dresses like that look like anything other than clinging to her youth. For now, I still say va-va-voom.

Kristin Scott Thomas: Dress is classic but the color is kind of blah, and where was her makeup? She looks washed out. Is eyeshadow forbidden above a certain age?

Evan Rachel Wood: Must agree. That worked. Side note: someone needs to put that Elie Saab model on a three-donut breakfast diet.

Eva Longoria Parker: The dress needed something to break up the sea of red. As for how it fit, oh, yes, Eva, work those sweater puppies!

Demi Moore: Does she look tired, or is it just me? The dress neither thrills me nor disgusts me, but it would've landed square in the latter category if she had kept it transparent.

Christina Applegate: Human banana.

Amy Adams: Hands off the hips, dearie, you look like you're about to go off on someone. Maybe your stylist because you realized the dress was overwhelming you?

Christina Hendricks: If you must have a quickie before you hit the red carpet, leave yourself time to do your hair afterward instead of before you get shoved up against the wall, K?

America Ferrerra: Definitely needed to be a darker color.

Kyra Sedgwick: Classic. Love it. Give her the same diet as the Elie Saab model, please.

Laura Linney: Where is she? Oh, you mean that pale smear on heels with the silver belt floating in the middle?

Angelina Jolie: Did someone tell you Kate Winslet was going to kick your ass? Explain, then, why you didn't even comb your hair after your shower before throwing on some old sparkly thing.

Maggie Gyllenhaal: You do not have enough moxie to wear that print. Blanche Devereaux, indeed.

Mary Louise Parker: Gorgeous dress. Perhaps a tad more makeup, but other than that, rock on.

Renee Zellwegger: I get it. You picked that dress because you can't see past your neck in a mirror.

"ovarB said...

Oh Renee was a mess and then she turned around...

What no one saw on Renee's dress was the horrible exposed silver zipper running down the back. Seriously, that bitch of an exposed zipper looked more like part of a back brace than a trend. I wish I could find the pic of it."
Thank you! Thought I was seeing something strange, but just put it down to my usual dislike of RZ's fashion sense & posing.

Damn you, Zellweger!

God, she looks ridiculous. And I know that's what she's going for.

I agree with most of your analysis, although I don't have a problem with blonds in yellow.

I assume there will be at least a part three because you haven't gotten to my pick for best dressed, Drew Barrimore. I thought she looked fantastic! I even loved her outrageous hair! The fact that she was clearly on ectasy was a little freaky, though.

I loved Mary-louise Parker the most; her and Anne Hathaway.

"From The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears."

You guys are pure genius.

You know what I just realized--some of these train wrecks wouldn't look half bad if the person wearing them would just stand up straight and in Tomei's case get a push up bra!

Huh? Eva...boring? Seriously? I wanna live on your planet, where that comes off as 'boring', 'cause, where I live, that's a right jolly color riot of sensational.

Rene...a case of the insides leaking out. Her and Helena Bonham, you've gotta wonder...if they ain't wearin' the tinfoil on their heads...where's it hiding? Hmmm.

Angelina...who? 'cause all I saw was the pretty bauble she was leaning on... *sigh*. Where does one get one of those?

Oh, right. Ya' gotta steal it off another's arm. Oh well. Too much for me.

As a person who had a mastectomy the same day as Christina Applegate did, my jaw fell straight to the ground when I saw that she dared wear something so low! Brave girl looked gorgeous. I wonder how moving actually worked out for her (I'm personally still in the turtle neck phase of my recovery).

Totally TOTALLY amazing. For me, she took it all and I can't even see anybody else.

Hero spotted. I am done. That is all.

Crazy lady. lol. Perfect ending.

Thank you TLo. Always delightful commentary.

Thank you for the Rene Zellweiger post, I knew you wouldn't let me down! I can't believe Angelina was wearing Versace - are you sure that wasn't an underneath something else slip? Maggie Gyllenhall (however you spell it) I have NEVER seen her look decent and this dress was no exception. thanks guys!

Maybe Kyra's looking undernourished because she just lost a shitload of money to Bernie Madoff??? Ha ha. And was raving about Renee Zelwegger, even though she looks so awful!!!

another laura

Re La Zellweger, don't hit me, people, but while I agree with all on hating her dress, I liked her hair a lot. Have to separate it from the rest of the outfit, but I thought it looked good.

Is anybody out there with me?

I have to agree with Bailey on this one: that dress wasn't the greatest on Krsitin Scott Thomas. To me she is one of the great classic beauties but that color washed her out. Looks like Meryl Streep sort of had her act together fashion-wise but what the hell was Glenn Close wearing??

WTF is going on with Angelina Jolie?
Does she have a beer gut she's trying to cover up in that thing?
Was she even wearing a bra?

amy adams is just gorgeous. the model for her de la renta looks angular, stickish and scary, but amy looks like a freaking dream in that dress.

red dress on red carpet looks like TOO MUCH RED.

Rolodex Dandelion

I think Renee is trying to prove to producers that she can play Joan Watson, the updated female foil to Sherlock Holmes in Miramax's upcoming motion picture feature, The Case of the Missing Lining.

First up. Ms. Lopez threw it down, picked it back up and said, "Here Ho's, this is how it's done!"

Oh, my bad. Was there someone else to discuss?

If I must, Mary Louis, very pretty, but one step away from Cache.

Evan was quite lovely. Nuff said.

Eva, o.k., note to your stylist, that dress is screaming, "I am a prop for a killer do and some fierce jewelry, the kind that comes with a body guard and they gab about it on 'The View' the next day." Where's the bangin' hairstyle? Double Yawn.

I wish you talked about Drew Berrymore! I loved her dress. The buttons on the side of the dress were such a great suprise. The color was soft and sexy, and then those buttons drawing a line down her curves, very sexy but in a suddle way!!

PLease tell me there is a part 3 to this?

I don't watch award shows, I don't care who wins a Golden Globe (unless it's Tina Fey), but couldn't wait to see what the blogs had to say about who was wearing who.

I also disagree on JLo's dress. Bitch looks like she is trying way too hard to look like her old self, and draped herself in a gold lame shower curtain she had lying around.

In addition to people matching their dress to their hair color (you guys are right, it makes you look boring and washed out--in my book the only exceptions are people with black hair) I also dislike red on the red carpet, ahem, I'm looking at you, Eva. Beautiful dress, but in photos she looks like she's becoming one with the rug.

Also, what was with the amount of crazy old-lady styling that was going on? Frankly, I'm surprised Evan Rachel Wood looks relatively youthful and sane.

I don't know about anyone else, but I thought Christina Applegate looked pretty damn good for a gal that had her boobs cut off this summer and probably is still doing chemo.
If Jolie is in the family way again then I can understand her choice, but really if she is not even trying she still looked great.

Crazy Renee indeed.

Bitch isn't even trying anymore.

My exact words.

I know I am checking in late with this one but a "yawn" for Longoria? Really? I kinda liked it.
However I am concurring with the rest.
Who was that painfully thin British actress, BTW? She made Posh look bloated.
I agree on Angelina. She hit it way harder 9 months pregnant with twins!! In her defense, she is giving that Michelle Duggar woman a run for her money...all those kids.....she can phone it in now and then...

Three words to describe Renee Zellweger.

Looks. Like. Shit.

I think January Jones and Evan Rachel Wood looked the best.

KTT is "beautiful, classic and age-appropriate"? It's a potato sack! You smacked La Jolie for wearing the exact same shape.

It's not even MOB, it's MOMOB. Ick.

tell me you're gonna talk about Drew Barrymore's hair and soon! Please?

i wonder if christina applegate chose a yellow dress for it's "live strong" connotations? that was one of my first thoughts. she looks great.

Oh please please tell me there will be a part three if only to rip apart the bubble gum that Cameron Diaz was wearing and the bird's nest that Drew Barrymore chose instead of an actual hairstyle. Please please please?

Angelina's makes her even thinner than she already is and she is already TOO THIN. The "color" was blah, the drapping was poor, and the accessories, or lack thereof, did not help. Was this left over from when she is pregnant b/c at night months pregant, it would have fit better. Also, I know she has 200 kids but could she at least comb her hair?
However, to be fair, I generally dislike her and her style so even if it was great, I would have a hard time saying it.

kamo said...

i wonder if christina applegate chose a yellow dress for it's "live strong" connotations? that was one of my first thoughts. she looks great.

Gross. Believe it or not, cancer existed long before Lance Armstrong. In fact, so did the color yellow! Further considering that the yellow bracelets were for testicular cancer, and breast cancer has its own pink bracelets, if anything she would've worn pink...but she didn't, because she's not retarded.

From The Blanche Devereux Collection at Sears

LOL! I love you both forever.

Christina Hendricks (who I adore) - the hair and the dress...geesh. She didn't look like she just got out of bed, she looked like she was still in the bed!

Kristin Scott Thomas - I must disagree. I thought she looked like she was wearing a dust cover. "Oh, damn. My dress didn't arrive by courier as planned. (to stylist) Darling, please pull the cover off the Rolls and pin it about me."

January Jones should have come as Betty. She seemed even stiffer and less happy than her character. And her TV wardrobe fits her so much better than that wall of blue satin she was walking behind.

Loved Linney & Parker. But they can do little wrong in my book.

Zellwegger looked like an organza drawstring bag for wedding favors. Were those her breasts in there or giantic candy almonds?

Renne Zellweger looks horrible. I'm so over her.

Mariana (The Unoriginal)

I love Amy Adams' dress. It's gorgeous!!

Anonymous said...
I thought Eva L.'s dress fit her beautifully and she looked beautiful, but it was so boring.. I felt like I've seen her look that way a million times.

The dress was fine but because it was so plainit was cyring out for a big fat $2,000,000.00 diamond necklace and matching $1,000,000.00 bracelet. Plain dresses need lots of big fat diamonds. The dress IMO was perfectly designed to show off jewelry.


Basil Stickshift

I just hate how it is 2009 and we are still suppose to buy bright red as some crazy vampy, va-va-voom color or something. Done and done. I prefer to see a little more originality than, "I want something SEXY. I know - I'll wear RED!!!" lol

Kristin Scott Thomas in Lanvin looks like Wallis Warfield Simpson, The Duchess of Windsor when she was in her 60s.

The dress IS wonderful but too old for Ms. Scott-Thomas IMO.


That dress looks better on JLo than the model for sure!

la mere artiste

It's totally bizarre when I agree with your every comment. Of course my PR favorites are Jay & Leanne.

In a sea of boring, meh outfits, it seems we can always count on Renee Z to look utterly batshit crazy. I think she's our new Sharon Stone.

...and Eva Longoria Parker? Has the worst taste in clothing I have ever seen. I don't think I have ever liked anything I have seen her in.

Marisa Tomei...what's going on, girlfriend? Is this really the best you can do?

January Jones - (sigh) I just have to train myself not to expect Betty Draper fabulosity.

Marisa Tomei - Stand Up Straight!

Jennifer Lopez - Strut, pout, put it out, that's what you want from women. Come on baby, what'cha taking me for?

Kristin Scott Thomas - Not the best proportion, short would be better.

Evan Rachel Wood - Beautiful face, her hair and makeup are perfect. I think the dress would be more flattering if she were a bit curvier.

Eva Longoria - Va va va voom!!! The fit gives the look that extra something. So tell me again, why do models have to be tall?

Demi Moore - Good Dress, Great Accessory!

Christina Applegate - Kelly Bundy all growed up, she looks great, her glow makes the look.

Amy Adams - I think it looks good??? It is not reading well on camera. She needs to stuff her bra.

Christina Hendricks - I really don't like the hair. The dress is an almost.

America Ferrera - I really like the runway dress. I like America's hair and makeup.

Kyra Sedgwick - Shut It Down! The dress, hair and makeup are perfect.

Laura Linney - Shut It Down, Part Deux! Now this would have been a great inauguration dress for Michelle Obama.

Angelina Jolie - I know this sounds mean, but she should have just stayed home.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - This is the best I have seem her look face wise. The dress is OK.

Mary Louise Parker - I really wished she wore her hair pulled back. I am not a fan deep tanning, but I think the look would look better if she was a tad bronzier. She looks very pretty in the smiling close up.

Renee Zellweger - Wasn't she a fashion icon not too long ago?

I love Renee but she looks awful. Someone’s stylist needs to be fired! Just because it came from a designer does not mean you should wear it!

I love the baby blue satin Versace dress. I love the architectural folds, the shape...Janaury Jones looks amazing.

KitschTrain said...

I love the baby blue satin Versace dress. I love the architectural folds, the shape...Janaury Jones looks amazing.

I also thought January Jones had one of the best looks of the night.

Oh, good lord, Maggie. That puff on your shoulder looks like it's about to eat your head. I'm frightened for you, honey.

Most of the other dresses didn't make that much of an impression on me -- except that I, also, like Marisa Tomei's outfit, and I applaud the girl for having a little fun with her fashion. I think the look suits her. And I adore and covet Evan Rachel Wood's dress like mad. Otherwise, as I said...yawn.

yeow, anon 9:03! it was just a thought, i'm allowed a bit of free-association. and the yellow is in support of "cancer" and not only testicular.

either way it's a great cheerful color on christina. she's always reminded me of my best friend, who had a breast cancer scare and is getting a preventative mastectomy soon. i've been helping her through this lately, helping her find doctors and talk to support foundation, etc. so i guess it was on my mind. so i don't think this would be "retarded" of her to do this. no need to get nasty.

did every woman (with the exceptiong of kyra sedwick) have to walk through a wind-tunnel to get to the golden globes?

2 words about JLo: Back Muffin

I thought Maggie looked beautiful.

Let me just say that January JOnes looked great she got ripped for her choice but she was one of my persona best dressed...I also like Renee's Look the hair and make up ( lack of) was a mess but the dress was nice. Maggie needs to quit, Keira Segwick can do no wrong. And J Lo and Beyonce must share the same HOE-TASTIC stylist because they both looked like glam street walkers!

J Lo - ugh, ugh, ugh! It looks like she took K-Mart sale wrapping paper and made a dress. Yuck...

Rene Z - What was that? No sheer, ever.

Overall, too much beige.

The color of January Jones's dress is gorgeous.
Angelina Jolie is really trying to bother me. Every red carpet event she throws on some basic black/other neutral color dress and stands there looking bored. At least try a little.
Eva Longoria Parker looked gorgeous and there's not many who can pull off that haircut.
Renee looks high.
Kristin Scott Thomas looked classic and pretty.
Loved Mary Louise Parker's dress.
JLo always seems to wear the same kind of dress.

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