Hit it, Heidi!
"We picked the fifteen - or sixteen, I can never remember - most talented designers and flew them to New York to compete for the opportunity of a lifetime. Tonight all of them meet again for the first time since they gathered in New York. We'll see exclusive unseen footage, the designers will answer your questions and we'll do our best to wring some uncomfortable confrontations out of them! THIS. Is Project Runway!"
"Hello, designers. Welcome! I have your mentor and guide, the wonderful Tim Gunn with me."
"Designers, I'm jubilant upon seeing you again. You all look well rested."
"Hi, Tim and Heidi."
"I'm Emily! Remember me?"
"I don't remember her. Do you, Tim?"
"Not really. Then again, half these girls looked alike, didn't they, Heidi? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The person yelling in my earpiece says we should get to some viewer-submitted questions."
"Gotham Tomato asks 'Do you all totally hate Kenley?"
"Suede's heart is not filled with hate."
"HAHAHA! WhatEVER, you guys!"
"I have to admit, I hated her too. Still do, actually. In Germany, a girl like her would be dragged out to the nearest platz and stoned for laziness and obnoxiousness."
"My daddy is a tugboat captain. *snff*"
"That doesn't have fuck-all to do with anything."
"Our next question is from ToddNY. He inquires, 'Did you all totally want to wring Blayne's neck every time he said "licious?"
"Hell, I wanted to wring his neck every time he breathed my air."
"Whoa. That wasn't cool at all."
"Blayne, how does that make you feel...about Kenley?"
"What? Oh. She's girlicious, I guess. I think she dresses like my grandma, though."
"HAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to BRYANT PARK and you losers AREN'T! Tugboat!"
"Wait. Did you change your outfit?"
"What? I don't know what you're talking about. Pssh."
"Tim, this lazy cow is annoying me again. Let's go to a commercial."
"Okay, we're back. Gorgeous Things asks 'How are things going with Daniel and Wesley?"
"Uh-oh, Heidi! Looks like trouble in Twink Paradise!"
"Sewing Siren asks 'What was the most difficult challenge?"
"I think that --"
"You shut your mouth, lazy cow. You've done enough talking. You. What do you think?"
"I think the Gristedes challenge was the hardest."
"I have no idea who you are. Let's go to another commercial while I call security."
"Okay, we're back and I'd like to introduce our special guests, top (although he's probably a bottom) fashion designer Michael Kors, and some sort of editor for some magazine, Nina Garcia!"
"Stop guys, you're too kind."
"Suede has no hard feelings."
"HAHAHA!! These guys SUCKED this year, right Michael?"
"Ohmigod, YES! Most of the time I had to fight to keep myself from laughing in their faces!"
"I mean, really. Most of the dresses this year just left me open-mouthed. I ran out of witty insults and putdowns about halfway through shooting!"
"I know what you mean, Michael. At one point, I said to myself, 'This is crap and I just don't give a shit anymore."
"Right. It was like a crapshoot at that point. We could have just picked names out of a hat for Bryant Park."
"Shit, I coulda told you that."
"You guys all thought we were writing your scores on those little cards but Michael and I gave up and we started playing hangman somewhere around week 3."
"And let me tell you, you think she's a tough judge? You should see what she's like when she's winning!"
"And he fucking cheats! HAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Jesus Christ, lighten up. It's just a TV show."
"Okay, that's it. We're not doing the fan favorite this year because we were afraid it was going to go to Blayne. Auf Wiedersehen! MWAH!"
[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com - Videos: YouTube]