I HATE NON MATCHED PLAID OR STRIPES! It looks unprofessional--"my first sewing project" kind of thing.

As for Terri's outfit, I agree. I don't think she should have won at all. The poor model looked cinched into that top--more of a boob binding than anything else. While I loved the pants and the coat--I don't think it said Olympics.

We need a video montage of best PR laughs: Kenley, Sissybear and Malan Breton (from Taiwan) all had great laughs that were fun for viewers and excruciating for fellow contestants.

"Still, if we had to listen to that laugh 16 hours out of 24, we'd go insane."

So, so true. And I STILL want to know why the heck Daniel defers to Kenley's opinion in this challenge. It's not like she's breaking the sound barrier with her own aesthetic....

As for Terri, the ruffled ascot was a bit too much for me. I'm not on the Terri Lovetrain, but I can see her being this season's Uli Herzner. Like Uli, she's come close in some challenges, and has enough talent and skill to make it through to the end. Even Chris March notes in his blog that she is one to watch. That has to count for something.

I will admit, my boyfriend and I made fun of Terri the first episode when she claimed, "I can make a 3-piece suit in like, 8 hours"...but damn if she didn't prove us wrong! Granted, it's not a 'suit,' but she works fast! I liked Terri's the best, and don't think the ascot thing would have looked ridiculous at the ceremonies. It's a little festive and would look great from up in the stands or on camera.

Kenley, oh Kenley...I still love you, even though I laughed at all the other designers mocking your laugh (which is annoying, I hate when people laugh at everything, and something tells me Daniel's not THAT funny). I liked her outfit but agree, it wasn't very Olympic. I thought it was more stylish than most of the cocktail messes up there though.

At this point, I really can't envision a top three that does not include these two. Right now I'm hoping for Leann for the third.

A rip of Ralph Lauren
Caused Terri to lose the win.
My outfit was killer,
The rest was all filler,
And belonged in the garbage bin.

The shirt on Terri's dress sits waaaay too low. I keep thinking the model's boobs are popping out a la "I'm a tube top wearing contestant on the Price Is Right, and when I jump up and down, my boobies pop out!!"

Thank You for saying what I noticed right off the bat!

Terri's top was waaayyy too tight & low. And I also thought the striping too much. I honestly thought Blayne should've been in the top 3 instead of Terri

However, I do love her and hope she makes the finals.

I also thought there were too many stripes with Terry's look -- I think it would have been better if she had a scarf that was solid color or none at all, but maybe it was to hide the tube top not working as well.

I just notice (since I have become so obsessed with this season that I read EVERYTHING) that Kenley is getting pointed out as trouble -- I don't always love her fashion - I don't know - the edits I see of her would make me like her

Okay - no matter how questionable the fit (remember, Terry made a blazer, slacks and a top on a deadline) at least she incorporated red, white and blue in her concept. She got the big picture. I think a polo style would have made more sense for the shirt, but would the judges have reacted badly to the unisex feel of a polo?

Hyena Girl (I personally would stab her to death with dull scissors) was designing for Barney's secretary (no, not the swanky department store, the purple dinosaur.)

I love the mix of stripes in Terri's outfit. The fit on the jacket is excellent and feminine with out looking stupid. I agree the corset is a bit much, she should have just done a fitted tank or racer for the undergarment. The ascot is great for the runway, for the athelets maybe just a fashionable option. The pants are great I like the flair because it provides a nice balance with the nipped jacket. I forgive the minor wonk at the fly, because of the time restaint.

I also thought Betty's plaid looked purple on the runway. I think not including red was an okay choice. The outfit does not look opening ceremony, and I cannot imagine the swimmers wearing that tight tight armhole and sleeve. It would be extremely uncomfortable and unattractive.

Wasn't that skirt made of the same grocery store tablecloth Kenley used for week one's challenge?

Terri's model looked like Uncle Sam...if he lived in Williamsburg and had four tits.

I still prefer Terri's look to Korto's for opening ceremonies (Korto's feels more "closing ceremony" to me), but I agree that the fit on that top was "insane."

But how nice to see this season's best models in the same post! Thanks, TLo!

Kenley's unmatched plaid drove me nuts! It would be one thing to not have sleeves match up like PPS did last season, but in the back on a skirt? No. No no no no no! Just sloppy. And the fit was weird. The blouse? Blech.

Moving on...

Terri's jacket was really nice. I liked it a lot. But the tube top was just wrong. As was the ascot. The pants without the flare would have been awesome, but she flared them and that's that.

I had a hard time believing Terri knocked out as many pieces as she did, but after seeing how that top fit and the waist of those pants, well, perhaps a little more time spent on perfecting each piece instead of churning out one more would have helped.

I liked Terri's look - but not as much as Korto's. And I couldn't figure out if there was a mistake with that top - it looked like it slipped under the models boobs, under the jacket - or was it supposed to look like that? But at least she understood the challenge.

As for Kenley's outfit - I'd say it looked more Staten Island secretary shopping the Bon Ton sale during her lunch hour, than Olympics Opening Ceremony. She's very lucky she has the most fabulous model. As for her annoyingness; it could just be more that the laugh has a cumulative effect, and just coincidence that no one (seemed to) mention it til now.

--GothamTomato

Yeah, Xaviera must really not have boobs, because I still can't understand how we're not seeing anything yet she's clearly putting on some kind of show. How is that Terri made a beautifully-fitted blazer but cut a tube top too short? It's a little bizarre.

Even if Kenley wasn't supremely annoying, I would still hate that skirt. Can you see that on a muscular short woman, like a gymnast? Gah!

...And those who say that Terri ripped off Ralph Lauren must not get out much. A Navy blazer with white pants has classic American sportswear that's been done over and over for at least 80 years. Plenty of designers have mined that look.

If anything, Terri's version had visual twists that made it more unique.

--GothamTomato

It looks like Terri's scarf is covering how low the tube top came out. Then again she's shown really a lot of chest all along (the macrame-d grocery store top comes to mind).

The pants would be a problem on muscular thighs, which is pretty much every female athlete at the games.

Terri, Korto, and Blayne all seemed to get the challenge-- so why did they all put athletes in strapless bras? If you're dressing Olympic athletes it's probably a safe assumption that you don't need to allow for a lot of DD-cups, but at the same time you've got to realize that you're not dressing women who have a whole lot of time to spend at the mall shopping for specialty undergarments.

You boys are so right, and I missed it. Unmatched plaid... Could she really have done that on purpose or did she just not give a shit since she had immunity? So aside from the fact that no olympic team would wear that dress (OK, except the Poles... why do you think the world mocks the Polish??), it was also sloppy.

Maybe it was a coasting challenge for Kenly.

I didn't read all of the posts from the Ralph L pictures, but wonder if anyone else thought that Joe Noodles entry would have been right for the more casual CLOSING CEREMONIES.
-TLo Addict-

Question:

When the season begins, are all the episodes completed? Or are some of the last epis still being taped?
What's the lead time?


As for the Olympics challenge, I liked that Terri fully understood what it was about, and put together a red, white and blue ensemble. When the athletes get their clothing for their time at the Olympics, it's all separates that they can mix and match, and in that regard, Terri pulled it off pretty well.

Kenley's dress was kinda cute but not for the opening ceremonies. Perhaps for the kegger afterwards?

Kenley's looked a little sloppy because she had immunity. She could phone it in, and she did.

Her look was ridiculous for the Olympics, however. Very, very strange choice. Plaid?! Imagine a few hundred women walking out of a tunnel wearing plaid. All the t.v. viewers would have their heads explode from the crazy jumble of it all. Sort of like an epileptic seizure!

I still think Terri deserved the win. I want the man-version. As for Kenley, it seems rather obvious that she had immunity and didn't much care. I thought this was much worse than you boys do, apparently.

Terri's look would have been great if the boob top had fit and the scarf had been left out... Those flared pants look goofy on a celery-shaped model, but on athletes with thighs and butts they would have worked well.

I liked Kenley's dress and it could have worked for the challenge -- it was very much on the stylish end, but blue & white plaid is fairly sporty. With some red shoes it would have been American "enough".

But we may have discovered Kenley's weakness -- she has problems with fit. Maybe she thinks that creativity is enough. But she cannot seem to fit tops. We didn't notice in the last challenge as much, because the fabric pattern was so nauseating, but she hasn't fit a bodice well yet. The dodge ball top didn't fit, the satin dress with the big ruffed collar didn't fit, the retro 80's nightmare... you get the idea.

Froma a distance Terri's look was pretty nice and on challenge.

I like her jacket a lot, especially the flared shape of the lapels. The pant concept with the stripe down the leg was a great twist too. But the rest wasn't so great and her execution was off, presumably because of time constraints. I kind of agree that the scarf was hiding that Ace bandage around her boobs, but it was a good way to camoflage it.

I have to wonder what the judges were thinking when looks like Kenleys, that were so obviously wrong for the challenge, kept coming out. I'd put hers right there with the bottom 3. Bad execution, bad fabric choice and another dress for watching the Olympics on TV. In 1962.

BrianB

I kind of liked Terri's ruffled ascot; it was different. Although anything around the neck in that heat gives me the heebie-geebies!

Indieglo said...

Terri, Korto, and Blayne all seemed to get the challenge-- so why did they all put athletes in strapless bras? If you're dressing Olympic athletes it's probably a safe assumption that you don't need to allow for a lot of DD-cups, but at the same time you've got to realize that you're not dressing women who have a whole lot of time to spend at the mall shopping for specialty undergarments.

Really? Athletic women don't have time to shop for underwear? And because they're athletic that means they couldn't already own strapless bras? I won't even mention the many types of specialty underwear that certain sports require.

Right on all counts. I thought the tube top made poor Xaviera look like she had no boobs, and just had stuff taped across a random part of her midsection. And I love Terri. Kenley totally bugs me, but I want to see her continue so that Shannone doesn't get cut. That girl sells the shit out of everything. I didn't notice any of the fit or execution issues until your still photos!

While I agree that the "ruffle-y ascot thingy is just too much" on Terri's outfit, isn't it there precisely to hide the ill-fit of the top? I noticed something was off during the runway show and judging session but couldn't tell exactly what was wrong. Did none of the judges point this out, or ask her to remove the jacket, or was this edited out?

I was surprised the judges didn't comment on the "insane" fit of the tube top. It was scarey.

Kenley had immunity and phoned it in. Not sure if that was a good strategy. More the time to take a big risk.

As you guys said in your initial post, there was a lot of ass on the runway this week. I was starting to panic about what this meant for the season and had to remind myself that in early episodes there often is. Tikki Barber Challenge anyone?

Hmmmm . . . seems like we need to consider the role editing has on how we are perceiving Kenley (and others). These designers are also asked to rip on their peers, and Terri and others ripping on her appear to have the most difficult and jealous personalities.

As for Terri's outfit, I didn't like it. It was way too busy and didn't look refined. She should have focused on wowing through fewer pieces.

I have to admit that incessant laughing drives me up the wall, but I'm wondering why people in the posts are hating on Kenley for this when everyone (or almost everyone, including the other contestants) seemed to find adorable Sissybear's laughing fits?

Gotham said:

"...And those who say that Terri ripped off Ralph Lauren must not get out much. A Navy blazer with white pants has classic American sportswear that's been done over and over for at least 80 years. Plenty of designers have mined that look. If anything, Terri's version had visual twists that made it more unique."

I completely agree. The jacket was a great twist on that classic look (and I liked the flared pants for that reason, too). The tube (or corset?) top was a mistake, though. A little tank top with wide enough straps to cover bra straps would have done the trick.

After a closer look at Terri's ensemble, it certainly did have some problems. That neckwear made the model look like she was being strangled by a shrimp cocktail. I really didn't notice the extreme flair of the slacks on the 2.5 seconds we got to see the outfit on the runway. Don't like the flair at all, though the red stripe did add a nice touch. Loved the blazer, hated the rest of the "bodice" design.
Kenley's design was just plain and simply badly fitted fug.
----StkrShock

I have to say I thought that perhaps with a few days of reflection, and the Olympic Opening Ceremonies having occurred on Friday, that people would think twice about the "inappropriate" nature of these outfits. I mean there were LOTS of inappropriate attire during that ceremony, including cocktail dresses and so on, which seemed to pay little attention to the idea that the designer was dressing athletes. I mean did you see the grandma dresses worn by the Hungarian women?

Terri -- the boob binding was really strange and unattractive, but I liked the pants and blazer as far as the Olympics go and the styles they usually wear there.

Kenley -- weird fit problems and the unmatched plaid was a no no. And stay away from Daniel!

You guys nailed it on both. Terri needed to pick a stripe or two and stick with it--that would have been fashion. It looked indecisive with so much going on up there.

Kenley made a Home Ec 101 skirt. You have to match your plaids.

"brooklyn bomber said: The tube (or corset?) top was a mistake, though. A little tank top with wide enough straps to cover bra straps would have done the trick."




That tube top was confusing. The only thing I liked about it was the stripes, which gave it a 1960's feel for me. I could picture a woman wearing that and carrying one of those fabulous old plasticized straw handbags.

--GothamTomato

That shot of Terri's model in the workroom with the ascot on looks like her lung has burst out of her chest.

I'm with sewing siren on her take of the outift. I liked it. I'm wondering if Terri got the tube top on her model and realized it was far too tight and so made a "too big/too full" ascot to try and hide that fact. If so it was a wise decision because we all know what happens if you send a model down the runway with a piece of draped fabric instead of an actual shirt.

I kinda liked all the stripes on Terri's outfit. Hated that tube top, though. It looked positively torturous.

As for Kenley, I don't care how well or how badly it was made. It was a stupid, self-indulgent choice for an Olympic challenge. Stupid silhouette, stupid fabric, stupid everything.

"I'm with sewing siren on her take of the outift. I liked it. I'm wondering if Terri got the tube top on her model and realized it was far too tight and so made a "too big/too full" ascot to try and hide that fact." (Bill said)

I think they showed Terri putting the top on the model and tugging and pulling, didn't they? But I don't think the fluffy scarf was there to hide the fit of the top. Remember--that was the fabric (or similar fabric) she'd wanted at Mood, that Suede or Keith or someone absconded with. So she intended to use it, and I suspect to use it that way.

Still. . . I agree with Lola that Terri's sort of this season's Uli, and with Bailey that at this point Kenley & Terri look like they're headed for BP. But it's still early.

Terri's outfit fit well into the challenge. I'm happy it didn't win as I hated the ruffles, there was something wrong with the top and I wasn't happy with that many stripes but all in all it was a wearable outfit for athletes and it did look like the Olympics.

Kenley's outfit on the other hand was laughable. Imagine a well muscled woman wearing that skirt!!! Non matched plaid is a strict NONO for me, hate it and the back of the skirt looks like the first attempt of a sewing noob.

Both ladies had "fit" issues which could eventually bite them both in their creative asses should they make it to the final five or three. I loved Terri's look, but agree with most that there was a LOT going on above the waistline. That striped tube top makes my very own boobies ache with displeasure! Squish-squish, indeed. Kenley's laugh is irrelevant, guys. You can point out some annoying feature on every designer on the show and they've all got something going on. But, who cares? Really. In short, I'd love to see both Kenly & Terri make it. They've both got talent, creativity, interesting and fresh aesthetics and always surprise us.
I just hope their individual "fit" issues don't ruin things for them both on the runway.

- edina -

To Anon 11:10:

Why did I like Sissybear's laugh better than Kenley's?

Well, context and tone may have to do with it. When Sissybear laughed, you wanted to be there to laugh with him. It was a whole hearted, infectious laugh, like Michael Kors' during the wrestling challenge.

I find Kenley's laugh a little annoying (and would have had enough of it after one day), because of its pitch and it tends to be more of an endless nervous giggle. But I am also willing to admit that editing may play a very big part in how we view Kenley. I'm willing to keep my critique to her aesthetic and design, until I see something in her character that truly irks me, like Sid 'Licious' antics.

Really? Athletic women don't have time to shop for underwear? And because they're athletic that means they couldn't already own strapless bras? I won't even mention the many types of specialty underwear that certain sports require.

Tell me more about specialty underwear for certain sports, Bailey. I run 30 miles a week--how about you?

wow, i forgot... kenley's was WAY more purple than daniel's.

TLo: No mention of the neutral boobies on Terri's outfit. What gives? I've been wondering about it all week. What was someone wearing her out supposed to do, let their bra show???

I actually like Kenley's laugh. It might be nerves, or it might be that she's just got a particularly high-strung sense of humor, but it certainly marks her out as more friendly than a lot of the other catty bitches on the show.

Her dress wasn't great, but it wasn't abyssmal either (which sets it a bit higher than some).

I read this article in the Times today about a new show called Whatever, Martha!" in which her daughter and another woman watch old clips of Martha Stewart Living and provide a mocking critque of the shows.

Who do we have to call to put our beloved TLo on the small screen doing exactly the same thing with Project Runway? It's been discussed before and really needs to happen!

I think that Terri would have been smart to use a solid color for the top, instead of adding yet another stripe/print to the mix. The fit issues for the top are a different minus for the overall look of her design. that said, I think her look was one of the very few that got the challenge.

As for Kenley's design, I just hated it-that shiny fabric for the top, and that huge plaid for the skirt. Does anyone else think that plaid has tablecloth potential?

I am all for a TLo television show. That would be hilarious! Just to hear the word titscrepancy on national tv . . .

"bill said: Who do we have to call to put our beloved TLo on the small screen doing exactly the same thing with Project Runway? It's been discussed before and really needs to happen!"




This is TV: The question is not, 'who do you have to call', it is 'who do you have to fuck?'

--GothamTomato

Curious as to what Tom and Lorenzo would have picked for the win, having now eliminated each of the top three looks. The only other outfit I thought was even in the ballpark was...Blayne's.

I just watched the Opening Ceremonies on Tivo last night, and I'm convinced that almost no one on Project Runway--including the judges--had a clue what to design for.

It's an Opening CEREMONY, not an Opening Sports Event. Terri's was the only design that seemed to realize this. Had our athletes shown up in either Korto's or Joe's designs, they would have looked severely undressed, much like people who go to a fine restaurant wearing cutoff shorts. (Although I guess that IS a very American thing to do.)

I haven't jumped on the TerriLoveTrain yet.

I was not impressed by her "night on the town" design. As far as her "Olympic effort", if she divided those tits by 2 and subtracted the ascot, I think she'd have won.

That scarf was totally to hide the missing top half of the top.

You'd think that the contestants, having heard the challenge, and having access to the museum, would be able to recall just exactly what colors the flag is. There were an awful lot of wrong reds and REALLY wrong blues out there. You don't have to be a flag-pin-wearin' koo-koo to get "blue". Kenley's might have been even worse than Daniel's.

I loved Terri's outfit - but I can't get past the "costume malfunction" just waiting to happen with that tube top. I had to do a double- then triple-take when the model was walking the runway. Is that fabric... or... boobs???

Here's what I think happened with Terri: she planned to make a real shirt and ran out of time, so she went with the boob binding. Seems like a last-minute way to make a top to throw on the model, rather than pulling a Carmen and having nothing. It worked out well enough for her (Top 3) but not enough to get the win.

I dislike the mismatched plaid thing. People swooned over PPS's little top last season for (I think) the first challenge and i remember wondering why, god why?

On closer inspection I'm not as thrilled with Terri's as I was last Wednesday. Maybe it's that the overall effect was just smart, sassy sportswear that wasn't afraid of mixing up the stripes. When compared with the WHITE unlined linen pants and tiny color accents of korto's. But I don't begrudge Korto the win.

Can't wait until we get rid of some more flotsam and jetsam contestants and get down to the real crazy.

I liked Terri's a lot, in fact, it was my favorite but that top is insane. I can't believe the judges didn't say anything. They probably didn't see it with that humongous scarf covering it.

What possesses one to pop the collar of a blazer?

"TheNYCourier said...

What possesses one to pop the collar of a blazer?"


LOL. I agree with you.
Terri's was the most appropriate one, IMHO, followed by Leanne's.

I liked Terri's Olympics uniform, but not as much as some of the others. In my world, Korto wins the gold, Joe wins the silver, and Leanne the bronze. I prefer the clean lines of their looks. For me, Terri would have been just out of the medals, placing 4th.

I do think Terri is someone to watch. She's done nice work throughout all 4 challenges. No one else has done that.

As to Kenley, that laugh is quite annoying and she seems to be getting a bit of a frenemy edit lately. It will be interesting to see if she lives up (or down) to it.

Speed post here; I'll read the hilarious peanut gallery commentary later this afternoon.

Had Terri just made her shirt into a nice cap sleeve tee (come on, these girls all have nice arms!) and left off that shiteous ascot, she would have been right on the money. A little more casual than what Lauren put out there, but still classy. It seemed to me that despite the 93 degree heat (and lord knows what the humidity was), there was a "keep your jacket on" policy for the American contingent. That's unusal, compared to most years when their lack of order, jacket waving video taping (I guess now replaced by a less-obtrusive camera phone or digital camera) showed major restraint.

I always like the traditional costuming that comes from the teensy contingents we'll never hear from again unless we invade them. :-(

gothamtomato said: The question is not, 'who do you have to call', it is 'who do you have to fuck?'

The same person Ms. Andy Cohen seems to be doing. She's got an aftershow, a blog, hosts Watch What Happens, producing credits, etc. Talk about a career girl (with no distinguishable talent)!

Kenley is abhorrent. I loathe the whole Betty Paige wannabe vibe and look - and her "worries" for the other contestants are annoying. I want her to get the auf in a very big way. In fact, this gaggle of designers is none too inspiring --- even Lupe - while not to my taste - had something to say. If you're going to be vile, be at least interesting (eg, Santino, Wendy, Vincent)

Kenley MUST GO all the way to Bryant Park.

I want to meet her dad, the tugboat captain.

-- desertwind

Her titties almost exposed,
She walked, and stopped, and posed.
Those stripes are a mess,
But ah, I digress,
MY dress should have been the one chose!

TERRI WAS ROBBED AGAIN!!!!!!

OH MY GOD CAN YOU TELL US WHY SHE WAS ROBBED AGAIN INSTEAD OF JUST WRITING 'TERRI WAS ROBBED AGAIN' AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Omg, I love Kenley but the show is definitely starting to make her look evil and backstabby and like Emily's "snake in the grass.".

Oh how I hope they succeed! This season needs a little more abject bitchery, and from someone with the goods behind it to pull it off. Last season was like Girl Scout camp and this season I want to taste blood! Ok you know what I mean. I hope Kenley's laughing at Daniel's "My taste is impeccable!" is as delicious as they made it appear on the preview, but I'm guessing it was just bitch editing, sigh.

Terri's outfit was simple, stylish sportswear, she should have won.

Terri's was perfect for the challenge and The Duchess was right when he said it looked like something Lauren Hutton would have on.

How is no one responding to Kenley Collins' poems?

Has she any idea how hot it gets in Beijing? Also, that scarf looks cheap.

You know, the more I look at these, the more I think -- this is not a terribly talented bunch. She has boob muffin top (is that "buffin top?"

I don't know if it's jealousy - nobody seems to have a problem with Kellie or Suede (of course, it might make a difference if either of them had gotten more than 5 seconds of airtime since winning their respective challenges). Personally, I'm kind of getting a "mean girl" vibe from Kenley, even without the editors.

to Jen at 1:33 PM


Because my mother always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-

(my mouth is zippered)

-TLo Addict_

Kenley's - Too girlie and she is freaking annoying.
Terri's - The boobs looked like they were about to burst from that super tight top still my favorite though.

I hated Kenley's. The fabric she picked was ugly and matronly, and what's up with her not wanting to include red?

Bill said: "I'm wondering if Terri got the tube top on her model and realized it was far too tight and so made a "too big/too full" ascot to try and hide that fact." - just what i was thinking. i thought the ascot just ruined the look since it was so voluminous - something smaller & more like a real ascot might have looked quite nice. the wonky top it was hiding would have looked great if it had fit properly.

overall, i liked the outfit with the above-mentioned revisions.

as for kenley's - i agree it looks like an executive secretary (if the fit issues could be resolved). it doesn't come close to saying "olympics". but, hey - she had immunity and as others have pointed out, she didn't need to "get" the challenge - just put something out there that she wanted everyone to see (free advertizing - which i think is the plan of several contestants this season - are you listening, cheroin???)...

I would be a lot more impressed by Terri's design if it didn't have that scarf and what's up with Keith taking her fabric? I'm glad she said something that was hilarious.

Kenley's been watching Mad Men.

One victory goes to her head
You can't trust a word she said
She laughs like a hyena
Only quite a bit meaner
Hey Kenley? Bettie Page is DEAD.*





*(I know, she's not, but stylistically... so over. Get a new trend to jump on, babe. That flower in your hair is wilting by the second.)

Olympic dress? Strictly ass--
Utterly lacking in class.
NY dress had a tulle tumor
And it ain't just a rumor
That she is the snake in the grass.


Hey, this is fun! I could do this all day (but I won't, kittens, promise!)

Okay, TLo, you are correct about Terri having so many reds and blues. The bulging tube top also was an obvious problem. However, I do like the voluminous ascot, and her jacket looked sharp! I'm still on the Terri love train! Cheri

I'm sooo not a troll, it's sick.
So maybe I'm not your 1st pick!
Alas, I don't care,
Have you seen my great hair?
People love my Bettie Page schtick!

It's nice that you think you're a poet,
but alas, your poems do no show it!
You must learn the form,
But don't worry, you're warm,
You'll get it before you know it!

I don't mean to cause a big fuss.
By all means, discuss and discuss!
I know I'm the best,
And regards to the rest,
But I'll throw them allunder the bus!

terri clearly dosen't know how to make a corset, because that is wha that top was suppose to be. instead it was a tube top that squashed the models boobs...she is not that creative of a designer she makes everyday already done annoyingly miidle of the road stuff. no terri love train for me.

You haven't mastered the schtick,
Poetic, or fashion, your pick.
Have something to fall back on
Because you sure don't have fashion.
Spend more time on style, not limericks.

Anonymous 2:45 said: "terri clearly dosen't know how to make a corset, because that is wha that top was suppose to be. instead it was a tube top that squashed the models boobs."

How do you know it was supposed to be a corset? Did Terri say that? I thought she said "three piece outfit," meaning pants, jacket, and shirt. Obviously she ran short on time and couldn't make the shirt. Remember the Tiki Barber challenge and how no one could manage to make even just a jacket and pants? What she did in the amount of time she had was pretty great. Too bad about the top...

Anon 3:10 said:
"How do you know it was supposed to be a corset? Did Terri say that? I thought she said "three piece outfit," meaning pants, jacket, and shirt. Obviously she ran short on time and couldn't make the shirt. Remember the Tiki Barber challenge and how no one could manage to make even just a jacket and pants? What she did in the amount of time she had was pretty great. Too bad about the top..."

Terri said she was going to do a corset.

Hey, lilithcat. I'll bet you're right about Kenley watching "Mad Men." Lol.

I watched it half-heartedly last season ('cause all the cool kids were doing it). This year, however, I'm really getting into it. Lovelovelove that period of style & design, aesthetically speaking that is.

- edina -

Terri ran out of time. Simple as that. Corset, shirt, whatever, just couldn't manage it. She did pretty well anyway, better than the vast majority of the other clowns on the show.

Miss Kenley was too busy laughing and being immune to do a good job.

As soon as Kenley discovered that her laugh irritates people it was in her best interest to laugh at everything: dust bunnies, memories of her lonely nights at Camp Minniehaha when the other girls wouldn't let her in the "secret society", imagining what Blayne looks like naked, and so forth. The Magic Elves, for want of a decent catch phrase so far (sorry, holla atcha boy just isn't going anywhere), took it from there.

I loved the plaid on Jeffrey's yellow gown. Did NOT love the plaid on this effort, perhaps largely because it was so not, not, not blue.

Also: what would the men's version of this be? That had to be one of the things the designers thought about. True, there was no need to execute it for the challenge, but I sure as shit would have made sure I was ready with an answer if the judges asked (and to my recollection none did). Can you just see the men's team in pants made of that plaid? And I don't even want to think about what the shirts would have looked like.

Sister Mary Martha said...
Miss Kenley was too busy laughing and being immune to do a good job.


Perhaps you should rap her knuckles with your yardstick Sister.

Just say no to the tube top!
Personally I think strapless should go away entirely as no matter how thin or thick it just gives women that scarey armpit fat lump thing.
Ick.
Other than the tube top I thought Terri did a good job.

I've been wary of Kenley since the beginning. This was a joke. Another designer who did a horrible conceptual job but lucked out that others where more awful than hers.
Again.
I say ick.

I like the suggestions that Terri ran out of time and quick-and-dirtied the tube top just to have something.

Is red still hard to use on video, or did that end with the advent of digital and high-def? I'm thinking that the old prohibition on solid reds on TV might have had something to do with all the designers' avoiding it. (And now that I think about it, the Chinese gymnasts looked fine in red leotards last night.)

Thank goodness for TLo. I didn't even notice how dangerously low that tube top was when I watched the show. I really wish they'd show the outfits in more detail during the episode. I still like the outfit, but I still agree with the Korto win.

"I hope Kenley's laughing at Daniel's "My taste is impeccable!" is as delicious as they made it appear on the preview, but I'm guessing it was just bitch editing, sigh"

Bailey, I think you're right about the editing, which is trying to work up the drama. On the other hand, I do predict a falling out b/w Daniel and Kenley. I noticed, while skimming Daniel's MySpace webpage that Kenley is nowhere to be seen as one of his "friends" (and vice versa). So we have that to look forward to, anyway.

I wasn't impressed with Kenley's design.

I am ON the TeriLove Train but I have to admit - I didn't notice the bust issue until now. Her boobs look like they are being tortured. Also, I didn't love the giant neck ruffle and wish they were nixed.

As another woman with a dreadful laugh, I'm going to hold off slinging any arrows at Kenley. She might end up being the mean girl, but it looks like they might be trolling a little for controversy here. Sure, it's annoying, but what? Her evil plan is to laugh them all off the runway? Seriously.

I'm keeping an eye on Korto for some good bitchery. Has anyone else noticed that she comes out with some snide remarks here and there? Like when she was on the runway and said that she likes to leave the past in the past. While I can agree with the sentiment (especially given the time warp we all saw on the runway), it was a not-so-subtle slam on just about every one of her fellow designers. In front of the judges, no less.

stephanie lucas said, Can you just see the men's team in pants made of that plaid?

Is there an Olympic golf team? It would be perfect for them!

Potty Mouth Princess--
I agree about the cap sleeve T-- that would have been perfect!
I like the ascot, it would have made for good TV to have it en masse in the opening ceremonies.

Bill--
it's true TLo need their own show! Maybe if the magical elves are reading they can create a TLo show for Bravo, where they critique PR, Sheer Genius (or not), and Top Design. I would watch that! I think may of us would watch that!

Anonymous 501, I thought Korto's jab about leaving the past in the past was pretty funny, myself. Given that most of the other designers' looks ended up being more 'retread' than 'retro,' I think it was very savvy of her to emphasise being 'fashion forward.'

Ovarb, you totally bited off the gofugyourself girls with that comment. They just used the tubes tops on Price is Right reference last week. Cite, cite, cite, please.

Mebbe I'm being too literal, but doesn't PLAID = SCOTTISH?

Oh, and the men don't necessarily need to be all matchy-matchy with the women. Take the Hungarians for instance. The men wore tasteful, white suits and the women looked like they were shot up at point-blank range.

I like Terri, but I can't get past the squished boobs tube top. It's way too low. I want to pull it up! It looks uncomfortable, like the very top is nailing her right across the nips and a costume malfuction can occur at any moment.

Disappointed in Kenley. I liked her right away and she's cute in a Pheobe Cates kind of way. But she's starting to show her catty high school mean girl side, and the nervous laughing was a bit too much.

I just saw the link to Gawker on your front page. How awesome that they mentioned your post about the RL uniforms. Congrats, Tlo! You bitches rock!!

gothamtomato said...
This is TV: The question is not, 'who do you have to call', it is 'who do you have to fuck?'

--GothamTomato

The market's so bad now, since everyone's fu**ing each other anyway, it's 'Who do I have to pay?'

anon 1:03,
HAHAHAHAHA!

That ascot thingamajig Terri had around her model's neck made me think she hadn't gotten past the mop she used for the 1st challenge. She just graduated to the Libman Wonder Mop.

I liked Terri's outfit. It was one of the few (and by that, I mean very few) that I could actually picture the Olympic female athletes wearing. If she ditched the ridiculous ascot and pulled that top up more (why on earth is it so low in the first place?) then I could see it in the Olympics.

I say ditch the ascot because not only was it ridiculous for the challenge and distracting, it was just way too many stripes. Without it, the look is much better.

By no means should she have won, though. I still say it should have been Joe, even if he had his own problems, both on and off the runway.

Kenley was just laughable (forgive the pun.) I wouldn't dream that thing onto an Olympic athlete, but even if it was worn I'd never guess the country of origin. If this wasn't an Olympic challenge, I'd still pretty much hate it. I'm a big anti-high waisted skirt kind of person in the first place, but there were so many errors in this look that I couldn't even say "it isn't my tastes, but it is nice." Because it just isn't.

I can't peg Kenley. One week she is down, then she's up, then down again...will she be on the rise again this week? If so, I'll be referring to her by a new nickname. Maybe Rollercoastley?

I'm not on the Terry Love train at all. I don't think that I ever will be..... Not to mention the fact that it looked like her model threw up candy cane all over the front of her outfit, And we all know how models love to throw up

If Kenley is actually reading this blog, I'd love to say that I thought you seemed a lot more genuine (and less Betty Paigey) when I knew ya at FSU about 3 years ago.

You lived on house-party row and had a tall, (really) hot roommate... what was her name...? My buds and I just knew her as the sex kitten and visited her often at InBetween.

Kenley seems like a sweetie and I often wonder about the editing affecting how people come across. However, while does she need to take it down a notch, as long as Blayne and Suede are there she will NEVER be the most annoying person. Besides, who can even hear her laugh over Stella's pounding.

Kenley has a problem with the breasteses. She keeps squishing 'em in when she should be propping 'em up in the shop window.

Terri's tube top looks 18 sizes too small for the model and I would have like to see her lose the scarf, but maybe its there to try and hide the too tight tube top. Say THAT ten times fast!

Kenley's doesn't even remotely begin to approach any garment that would make sense for this event....plus as a Catholic-school-for-12-years victim, I vowed on June 18, 1982 (my last day of high school) that I would NEVER wear plaid again. I just hate it. I won't even buy Christmas wrapping paper thats plaid.

Anonymous 6:37 said:

I can't peg Kenley. One week she is down, then she's up, then down again...will she be on the rise again this week? If so, I'll be referring to her by a new nickname. Maybe Rollercoastley?

Did anyone else read Tim's comments on some of the contestants a few weeks ago? He called Kenley "Sybil." He said her moods changed regularly, and I think he implied that she was unpleasant.

He also said that Blayne was the workroom cutup and also, "Thank God for Blayne." (This is by memory so I may not have the quote exactly correct.) So, I figure there is more to Blayne than we've seen.

cherylc

Now that I look at Kenley's outfit, I think it would be tres appropriate for Olympic athletes if only because many a sports bra make my own DDs into the same kind of uniboob that top is giving that poor model.

Maybe Kenley was really just thinking of impoverished athletes who can't afford both sports and regular bras?

" Suzanne said...
...I vowed on June 18, 1982 (my last day of high school) that I would NEVER wear plaid again. I just hate it. I won't even buy Christmas wrapping paper thats plaid."


Hahahahahahahaha. That's hilarious, Suzanne!!!

Bill said...
I read this article in the Times today about a new show called Whatever, Martha!" in which her daughter and another woman watch old clips of Martha Stewart Living and provide a mocking critque of the shows.

Who do we have to call to put our beloved TLo on the small screen doing exactly the same thing with Project Runway? It's been discussed before and really needs to happen!

11:51 AM

Bill, have you ever seen Mystery Science Theater 3000? Same type of show, except its with those "B" Sci Fi Movies from the 60's...Hilarious...

Striped ruffle thing is fine on Jerry Seinfeld or a pirate, but not a world class athlete.

Kenley's outfit is very Bill Blass Resort 2009 (or 2008, I'm not sure). Cute but again not appropriate for the challenge.
With a few tiny changes, I think Terri could have won. At least she was in realm of Olympics and American sportswear. Unlike others ...

Did anyone else read Tim's comments on some of the contestants a few weeks ago? He called Kenley "Sybil." He said her moods changed regularly, and I think he implied that she was unpleasant.

He also said that Blayne was the workroom cutup and also, "Thank God for Blayne." (This is by memory so I may not have the quote exactly correct.) So, I figure there is more to Blayne than we've seen.

Hi, Cheryl. Where did you read these comments? I'm really curious and I always listen to Tim. :)

I liked Terri's outfit a lot, but I agree with you on the "too much look." I think she should have ditched the ascot thingy completely and reworked the top a bit. I didn't mind the flare, and the jacket I loved. I certainly wouldn't say that she was outright robbed, but personally I preferred her look to Korto's.

I thought I loved Terri's until I saw your close up photo of the top. What was going on there? Is it really under the models boobs?

That Staten Island secretary must have some loooong lunch hour considering that the nearest Bon Ton is 40 miles away from New York City, in Brick, New Jersey.

I might have liked Terri's if I could have torn my attention away from wondering what the hell was happening to the model's seemingly exposed and nippleless boobies.

Anon 8:57, the comments were in People magazine. It was maybe the issue after the first two episodes. I was on vacation July 19-25, and I was reading it that week. There was a spread of five or so designers, and Tim's comments about them. I remember Kenley, Blayne, Wesley (Tim commented on the shorts) and maybe Stella? I think the magazine got recycled, but I'll check if I can find it.

My perception of Kenley has been totally colored by that comment from Tim.

While I was on vacation I watched PR in the communal living room with my extended family, and one 20 yr old boy was talking about how he didn't watch reality TV, and certainly not about clothes, and this was stupid, and by the end he was critiquing the dresses with me. It was awesome.

cherylc

Lilithcat: YES. Perfect.

Actually after I posted that I realized, "Vest, stupid", but even that would have ended up with a troubling of Pickle Family Circus effect.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else read Tim's comments on some of the contestants a few weeks ago? He called Kenley "Sybil." He said her moods changed regularly, and I think he implied that she was unpleasant.

He also said that Blayne was the workroom cutup and also, "Thank God for Blayne." (This is by memory so I may not have the quote exactly correct.) So, I figure there is more to Blayne than we've seen.

Hi, Cheryl. Where did you read these comments? I'm really curious and I always listen to Tim. :)


We posted about it. You can read it here.


T Lo

Thanks, Cheryl and Tlo.


curious anonymous

"...she appears to have been stricken by that elusive affliction that hears "Olympics" and thinks "cocktail party." "

LMAO!

I know I'm a little late in the game, but does Xaviera have nipples? If so, they are placed somewhere on her chest other than where they should be. Else, we would all be looking straight at them in those photos.

"Granted, it didn't escape our notice that her apparent annoying tendencies only came up AFTER she won a challenge and as we all know, jealousy always plays a huge part in delicious reality television drama."

True--but it can also be editing (they deleted comments about her laugh up until now) + the laugh reached overload. I have a coworker whose annoying laugh makes Kenley sound like a choir of angels. I'm not at the point of homicide...yet. But I also don't have to live in such close quarters as the PR contestants do.

Is it me or is Kenley's a little close in silhouette to her BFF Daniel's???

jen said..."How is no one responding to Kenley Collins' poems?"

kenley collins said... "I'm sooo not a troll, it's sick. (...) I don't mean to cause a big fuss./By all means, discuss and discuss!/I know I'm the best/And regards to the rest/But I'll throw them all under the bus!"

Yeah okay I'll bite. I think "kenley collins" the commenter is a fake, despite her protest otherwise.

I'm reserving judgment, but for now editing is making Kenley look like a moray eel: a slippery lurker with a big smiling mouth full of sharp teeth. From the pov of how they've cut it, she has already successfully manipulated one designer out of something that would have possibly made his garment better. And they show us a lot of her laughter, often at others. And she certainly brings the confidence and swagger that borders on vanity.

If "kenley collins" is real, the effort to make limericks is amusing. Plus it lends a little humanity that contrasts the slowly building nasty the editors are giving us. I'm skeptical though. On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. . . Or if you're a dude, pretending to be someone pretending to be Betty Paige.

As to the time warp, I've pondered the missteps a lot over the last week and the one thing that nags at me is that for inspiration they were in a museum. I realize part of the challenge was to avoid literalism (gawd how I wish everyone would) but with the museum setting, it seems highly likely to me that is partly responsible. Don't you think?

And what's more, some of the people dodged making backward-looking museum pieces, not because they were so fashion forward but because they were determined to do "their" looks (I'm thinking Joe, Stella, maybe Blayne, and to a limited extent Terri).

Writing by an Iranian Anti-terrorist NGO
کنیه پیامبر اسلام و امامان شیعه به چه معناست؟ جمعی از تشنگان خاندان عصمت و طهارت با بنیاد یا زهرا تماس گرفته اند و از ما درباره کنیه حضرات 14 معصوم سوال کرده انددر پاسخ این عزیزان این مطلب تخصصی نوشته شده است.
کنیه از کردن می آید کردم کردی کرد و کن .کن یعنی بکن فعل امر گاییدن می باشد.کردن هم به معنی گاییدن است.کنیه یعنی آنچه با آن می کنند. یعنی شمبول یعنی دودول یعنی کیر یعنی مامله یعنی ابول.پس کنیه حضرت علی یعنی مامله حضرت علی.کلا اولیای دین اسلام سه کار عمده داشتند بخشی از روز را عبادت می کردند بخشی را به آدم کشی می پرداختند و بخشی نیز به جماع می گذشت و نظر اهمیت جماع نام تمام اولیای اسلام با کنیه شان خطاب می شود.
چرا کنیه حضرت محمد رسول الله ابوالقاسم است و کنیه حضرت علی ابوالحسن؟
همانطور که می دانید بسیاری از مردم به اعضای بدنشان شناخته میشوند مثلا می گویند چشم آبی آمد.مو سیاه رفت.قوی پنجه را ببین.به همین نحو ممکن است کسی به ابولش شناخته شود مثل معصومین گرامی دین اسلام.
به حضرت ختمی مرتبت محمد مصطفی ابول قاسم می گفتند چون حضرت بیش از هر مسلمانی زنان متعدد داشته وباید ابولش بین این زنان قسمت می شده ابول قاسم یعنی قسمت کننده مامله.امام مهدی عج نیز به سبب طول عمرش با زنان بسیاری همبستر شده که او نیز لقبش ابول قاسم است.
حضرت علی نیز به ابول حسن معروف است. چرا که حضرت فاطمه زهرا بنت رسول الله این نام را به مامله حضرت داده اند. از برای جماع لذت بخشی که حضرت با مامله حضرت داشتند.پس نام مامله محمد رسول الله و مهدی قاسم و نام مامله حضرت علی حسن بوده استو نظر به اهمیت جماع دراسلام ایشان به نام ابولشان شناخته می شوند. 3 comments Links to this post Labels: حديث قدسي, حدیث سکسي فاطمه زهرا و حضرت علی در جهاد سازندگی الله در سوره بقره آيه 223 فرموده است:
نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُواْ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ وَقَدِّمُواْ لأَنفُسِكُمْ وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّكُم مُّلاَقُوهُ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ.زنانتان کشتزار شما هستند. هر طور که خواهيد به کشتزار خود درآييد. و براي خويش از پيش چيزي فرستيد و از خدا بترسيد و بدانيد که به نزد او خواهيد شد.



حديث اول در رابطه با اين آيه:اليوم من الايام فاطمة الزهرا بنت رسول اشتب بالمنزل الرسول الله. رسول الله اسئلت وات هپن؟ قال فاطمة علي ولي الله اريد ان ادخل الي منقب مع کله. رسول الله قال علي يا علي واي يو آر فاکينگ ماي بنت مع اليور هد؟ قال علي آيه 223 ف ان ادخل بيکاز الله قال ادخل من هر طريق يو لاو.رسول الله قال علي: المرديکه فاطمة لا کنيز شي ايز ماي بنت. لا فاکينگ فاطمه مع الکله فاک شي باي مامله القضيب.
در روزي از روزها فاطمه با شتاب به منزل رسول الله آمد و پشت سرش علي با سرعت داخل شد. فاطمه گفت پدر کمک علي مي خواهد با کله وارد منقب من شود . رسول الله بانگ زد علي تو چه مرگت شده؟حضرت علي آيه 223 را خواند و گفت الله گفته هر طور که خواستيد وارد مزرعه خود شويد من هم با کله مي خواستم وارد شوم.رسول الله فرمود خاک برسرت منظور خدا مامله ات بود نه کله اين کنيز جنگي نيست که هر طور خواستي بگايي.



حديث دوم:

روزي از روزها حضرت علي در منزل بانک زد يا فاطمة الزهرا اي مزرعه من بيا که مي خواهم تو را شخم بزنم. پس حضرت طي يک طرح جهادي به سرعت حاضر شد چرا که جهاد زن خوب شوهر داري است و بايد خود را در اختيار شوهرش بگذارد تا شوهر هرگونه لذتي ببرد.
فاطمه زهرا روي زمين دراز کشيد و علي روي فاطمه خوابيد مشغول شخم زدن شد.
شخم زدن که تمام شد فاطمه گفت يا علي ولي الله بر من بادمجان بکار. حضرت فرمود بادمجان کار من نباشد تو را به مساقات به بلال حبشي يا ابول اسود دودولي دهم تا بادمجان بر تو بکارد.

حضرت مشغول کاشت خيار شد. مدتي که گذشت حضرت مي خواست عبادت را به اتمام برساند ولي فاطمه زهرا ذکر وتسبيح گويان به ادامه عبادت مشتاق بود.
گفت يا علي بر من کدو بکار حضرت بر فاطمه کدو کاشت . زهرا فرمود يا علي هندوانه هم مي خواهم حضرت هندوانه نيز کاشت. به همين نحو تمام شب را حضرت به زراعت پرداخت انواع صيفي جات را بر زهرا نشا کرد و از براي ذوالجنان اسب وفادار فرزند فاطمه يونجه و شبدر نيز کاشتندي.

نخلستانهاي متعددي نيز از براي تهيه خرما بر زهرا فرو نشاندي تا اينکه حضرت علي کلافه شدندي و چون فاطمه از علي خواست جهت استفاده از سايه چناري نيز بر او بنشاند حضرت به يک باره بلند شد و بر کس فاطمه ريد.
فاطمه عصباني و شگفت زده گفت يا ولي الله چه کردي؟
حضرت علي فرمود يا فاطمة الزهرا هر مزرعه که چنين پر محصول باشد نياز به کود مناسب جهت تقويت محصول دارد و اينچنين بود که علي خود را از اين کار زراعت طاقت فرسا نجات دادندي تا انرژي کسب کردندي و شبي ديگر ذوالفقار بر کشيده فاطمه را به جهاد خوانده او را شخم زده و صيفي و چنار بر فاطمه نشا کند.
7 comments Links to this post Labels: حدیث سکسي Wednesdayوقتی شیطان بر منقب زهرا نهاد در پست قبلی به گفتگوی اسما و فاطمه زهرا بنت رسول الله اشاره ای داشتیم اینک مطلبی دیگر را به اتفاق می خوانیم.
اسما به نزد سایر زنان مدینه باز گشت و ضمن ذکر مناقب حضرت زهرا ، آنچه از زفاف علی و زهرادیده و شنیده بود برای زنان بازگو کرد.زنان از این شرح واقعه تعجب کردند و دانستند که زهرا بنده برگزیده الله است چرا که با یک سبحان الله دل و جیگرش بالا رفته جا برای معامله شیر خدا حضرت علی باز می شود.پس به اتفاق به نزد زهرا رفتند و گفتند که یا زهرا هر شب به نزد زنان مسلمان بیا و سخنرانی کن تا ما نیز از تو کسب فیض کرده شاید خدا نیز دل و جگر ما را بالاتر برده و مامله شوهرانمان را مثل مامله علی گرداند.پس از آن زهرا به نزد زنان می رفت و به سخنرانی می پرداخت.
سخنرانی شماره یک حضرت زهرا
بسم الله الجاکش الجبارینبنام خداوند جاکش ستمگراندیشب با علی جماع می کردم حضرت یک دفعه ابول حسن را از منقب من بیرون کشید دست بر منقبم نهاد آن را هم کشید و تمام آب مامله را بر صورتم پاشید.
گفتم یا علی چه کردی.
حضرت فرمود ای ام المومنین من فراموش کرده بودم که اکنون اول ماه است و داشتم تو را می گائیدم که دیدم شیطان نیز مامله اش را بر تو فرو کرده و می خواهد همزمان با من آبش را بر منقبت ریخته بچه مان شیطان شود.
پس به سرعت مامله بر کشیده دست بر منقبت گذاشتم آن را هم کشیدم تا شیطان نتواند بر تو نطفه ریزد.
علی به من گفت یا زهرا به زنان مومن بگو اول و نیمه هر ماه از جماع به قصد حاملگی خودداری کرده چرا که اول و نیمه ماه شیطان مامله خویش بر کس آنان نهاده در نطفه شریک شود.3 comments Links to this post Labels: حديث قدسي, حدیث سکسي Tuesdayذکر مناقب حضرت زهرا و شب زفاف حضرت زهرا در كتاب امالى شيخ عليه الرحمه در حديثى آمده چون شب زفاف فاطمه (ع) فرارسيد حضرت پيغمبر اكرم صلى عليه و آله و سلم ، حضرت امام علی (ع) را فرا خواند و توصیه های به او نمود.حضرت محمد فرمودند:یا علی ان فی اکثر الغزوات ینظر انت فاکینگ و مجامعت مع الا النسا الذی مقلوب الی الجهاد.یا علی من در اکثر جنگها دیده ام چگونه با زنانی که غنیمت می گرفتیم جماع می کردی.

فلذا هی فاطمه الزهرا بنت رسول اللهو ایت ایز دیفرنت من حیث المجموعولی این فاطمه دختر من است و این من حیث المجموع فرغ می کند.

فلذا انت لا مجامعت مع الزهرا بسان الحمار و لا مجامعت مع الزهرا بسان الخروس فمجامعت بسان الانسان.پس همانا با همسر خویش بسان الاغ جماع نکن و همینطور بسان خروس جماع نکن بلکه مثل آدم کارت را بکن.
پس از آن حضرت فاطمه را سوار بر شتر به همراه هفتاد هزار ملائکه به خانه علی فرستاد. اسماء بنت عمیس را هم به همراه زهرا به خانه علی فرستاد تا در شب زفاف یاور و راهنمای فاطمة الزهرا باشد.
در شب زفاف اسماء بنت عمیس فاطمه را برهنه نمود و بانک بر آورد یا علی بیا که بانو آماده است.

پس همینکه حضرت دشداشه بیرون آورد مامله حضرت بر اسما نمایان شدندی پس اسما فریاد زدندی یا حضرت عباس ( آن زمان منظور عموی پیغمبر بوده) سپس به حضرت گفتندی:یاعلی پدر و مادرم به فدایت باد فاطمه نوجوان است و منقب ایشان تاب تحمل مامله طویل و قطور شما را ندارد. حضرت گفت خاموش تو از خاندان عصمت و طهارت چه می دانی که گزافه گویی می کنی ما خود بطور لدنی به امور خویش واقفیم و هیچ مامله ای شایسته مناقب زهرا نباشد جز مامله من.

سیوطی در کتاب خود مامله علی را یک وجب بلند تر از قامت زهرا ولی ابن اثیر آن را یک وجب کوتاهتر از قامت زهرا نقل کرده است.حضرت ابتدا بر موهای فاطمه چنگ زد و موها را بدست گرفته و فاطمه را به همراه خویش کشید. و رو به قبله دعایی خواند و سپس هر سه برهنه به نماز ایستادندی و نماز شکر بجا آوردندی.

اسما نقل می کند که علی بر زمین دراز کشید و مامله بر هوا فرستاد و زهراگفت یا علی، علی فرمود : علی یارت و زهرا را با دست بلند کرد و بر سر مامله نشاند و زهرا بانک بر آورد سبحان الله و حضرت علی فاطمه را ول کردندی و حضرت به پایین افتادندی و مامله تماما بر حضرت فرو رفتندی و فاطمه بانک بر آوردندی الحمد الله. حضرات این کار را 33 مرتبه انجام دادندی.

لازم به ذکر است که تسبیحات حضرت زهرا سلام الله علیها از شب زفاف فاطمه الزهرا باب شدندی و علت را خواهیم گفت.
فردای پس از جماع اسما به نزد فاطمه رفتندی و از حال وی جویا شدندی و فهمیدندی که فاطمه سر حال و قبراق بودندی پس با حیرت گفت یا فاطمه پدر و مادرم به فدایت باد مامله حضرت به اندازه هیکلت بود پس چطور آن به تمامت بر منقبت فرو رفتندی و تو سالم و سرحال ایستاده ای؟

فاطمه فرمود آیا ندیدی که در شب من سوار بر مامله علی سبحان الله می گفتم.اسما گفت آری دیدم.فاطمه فرمود خداوند تبارک و تعالی هربار که سبحان الله می گوییم دل و جگر ما را به بالا کشیده و جا برای مامله باز می کند و هنگام الحمد الله منقبمان تنگ شده تا به حضرت و خودمان هنگام بیرون کشیدن مامله لذت دهد.

اسما گفت یا حضرت من هیچ ترسی بر روی شما ندیدم در حالیکه اکثر دختران در جماع اول ترس داشتندی. سبب چه بودندی؟حضرت فرمود که اول قسم بخور به هیچ کس نگوئی.اسما گفت به حضرت عباس(عموی پیغمبر) قسم که چیزی نگویم.

فاطمه گفت این بار اولم نبود که جماع کردندی.اسما گفت پدرو مادرم به فدایت شیطون قبلا کجا و با کی و چرا جماع کردی؟

فاطمه گفت من و عایشه و پیامبر در اتاق بودیم که جبرئیل امین از آسمان به زمین آمدندی و به رسول الله گفتندی که مناقب زهرا به هر کس که رسد او ولی و وصی تو خواهد شد و خلیفه مسلمین خواهد شد.اسما پرسید: خوب بعد چه شد.فاطمه گفت: عایشه فورا به نزد پدرش رفت و از گفته جبرئیل به پدرش خبر داد. و شب ابوبکر صدیق خفت مرا گرفت و بر منقبم نهاد.

اسما گفت پس به این ترتیب ابوبکر خلیفه اول مسلمین خواهد شد و علی خلیفه دوم.

فاطمه گفت : نه اشتباه کردی آن روز عمر بر کنار درب منزل گوش ایستاده بود و هنگامیکه بر منقب من می نهاد او نیز به اشتباه فکر می کرد خلیفه اول مسلمین خواهد شد.

اسما از مامله عمر پرسید: یا فاطمه من فکر می کنم عمر مامله بزرگی داشته باشد مامله عمر چگونه بود؟

فاطمه گفت مامله عمر دو برابر مامله علی بودندی و من با وجود اینکه سبحان الله گفتم و دل و جگرم به امر خدا به بالا رفت مامله عمر به پهلویم فشار اوردندی و من بیم دارم که سر انجام از درد پهلوی شکافته شده ام به دیار باقی رهسپار شوم.

اسما گفت پس عمر خلیفه دوم و علی خلیفه سوم خواهد شد.

فاطمه گفت نه عثمان زاغ مرا چوب می زد و دیده بود که عمرو ابوبکر بر منقب من نهاده اند و نزد من آمد و گفت یا فاطمه الزهرا حتما حکمتی در کار بوده که عمر و ابوبکر بر منقبت نهاده اند پس او هم بر منقب من نهاد.

وبه این ترتیب اسما و فاطمه از آینده خبر دار شدندی و در حالیکه حضرت علی با دمش گردو می شکست که خلیفه اول مسلمین خواهد شد فاطمه می دانست که سلطنت به علی نخواهد رسید مگر بعد از عثمان.3 comments Links to this post Labels: حديث قدسي, حدیث سکسي مبارزات و مصائب حضرت زينب (ع)
احاديث متعددي در شرح مصائب حضرت زينب (ع) پس از واقعه جانگداز کربلا در دسترس است که ما براي شما برخي از آن احاديث را نقل مي کنيم.
فتر کيف الزينب لگاز زدي بر معماله يزيد.همانا نديدي چطور زينب مامله يزيد را گاز گرفتندي؟
شرح حديث:پس از اسارت حضرت زينب همواره درسدد مبارزه با حاکم جور و فساد آن زمان بودندي پس راه اين بودندي که عرصه را بر يزيد تنگ کردندي.
همان شب اول که حضرت به حضور يزيد برده شدندي يزيد لعنت الله عليه مامله خويش در آوردندي بر دهان زينب گذاشتندي و گفتندي اگر بر عليه ما و در رثاي حسين بر منبر روي هربار مامله من بر حلقت خواهد رفت.
حضرت مثل شير زنان امروز بسيجي مامله يزيد را محکم گاز گرفتندي و ناله يزيد به هوا رفتندي و به اين ترتيب به يزيد فهماند که با يک زن حزب اللهي به تمام معنا طرف است.
به اين ترتيب هربار حضرت بر عليه يزيد بر منبر رفتندي و هر شب کير يزيد گاز زدندي تا اينکه عرصه بر يزيد تنگ شدندي و از مامله بر دهان زينب نهادن منصرف شدندي و اين اولين پيروزي بانوي دوم اسلام بودندي.
الم ترکيف ربک چربيک بمقعده الزينبآيا نديدي چگونه الله منقب زينب را چرب نمود
شرح حديث:پس از نهضت گاز زدن مامله يزيد که نشان از شم سياسي حضرت زينب داشت عرصه بر يزيد تنگ آمدندي پس به فکر ديگري افتاد.زينب را که از منبر بر مي گشت صدا زدندي و همين که زينب به نزد يزيد رسيد يزيد با يک حرکت مامله بر منقب عقب حضرت زينب انداخت و داد حضرت از درد به هوا رفتندي.
يزيد گفت: من بعد که پاي منبر روي و بر ضد ما و به نفع حسين داد و فغان کني مامله کلفت ما بر منقب عقبت خواهد نشست تا عبرت گيري.
حضرت از خداوند تبارک و تعالي استمداد جست پس همان وقت جبرئيل امين نزد زينب آمدندي وبه حضرت راه چاره را نشان دادندي.
آن روز عصر حضرت به بالاي منبر رفت و بر ضد يزيد و به نفع حسين به افشاگري پرداخت پس هنگام باز گشت يزيد به قصد دخول به نزد حضرت آمدندي پس حضرت بانک بر آورد سبحان الله پس فورا ملائکه از آسمان بر زمين آمدندي و منقب عقب حضرت را از بيرون و درون چرب کردندي و به آسمان بازگشتندي پس همينکه يزيد بر مقعد زينب نهاد وتمامت مامله بر کار فرو رفتندي حضرت لذت بردندي و بانک زدندي الحمدالله پس يزيد شگفت زده شدندي ولي به مجامعت ادامه دادندي.
پس از آن هر روز حضرت به افشاگري بر منبر پرداختندي و شب ملائکه بر زمين فرود آمدندي و کون مبارک حضرت را چرب نمودندي و مامله يزيد را از توطئه عليه بانوي دوم اسلام بازداشتندي.
بدين ترتيب حضرت زينب يا مامله يزيد را گاز زدندي يا خداوند کون حضرت را چرب نمودي تا پوز يزيد به خاک ماليده شدندي و نهضت کربلا تداوم يافتندي و نداي حق طلبانه تشيع به گوش جهانيان رسيد.
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tlo,
For a minute I thought I'd missed a post, but the one you link to is not referring to the article I read. I'm confused now. I'm pretty sure I read it in People, but I definitely read it somewhere. I couldn't have made up that Sybil reference, or Thank God for Blayne, for that matter.

I'm going to try to find that magazine. Picture me rooting through my huge recycling bin. I do live in Seattle...

cherylc

I would've loved this challenge much more if one of the conditions was it had to suit the various different body types in the olympic team- from the female weightlifters to the gymnasts. That would have made the episode (and the season) suck just that little bit less.

I loved Kenley's silhouette but not the shiny white fabric on top and the unmatched plaid mess on bottom. It had immunity written all over it.

Also, I didn't even realize until I saw the screen shots that Shannone is wearing a dark reddish flower head band. That is all wrong. A dash of some bright red accessory would have been far more fab (scarf, chunky bracelet, purse, something).

p.s. I'm a huge Mad Men fan. That said, Kenley reminds me a lot of my evil ex. So, I guess those two things cancel each other out.

Love the poems. Keep 'em comin.

Dear Kenley,

I was really impressed by you when I first saw your work and your personal aesthetic. But lately as I watch the show I have found you to be a very ugly person. On this episode (the Brooke Shields challenge) you openly laughed at someone whose work was being criticized by the judges. I have ADHD, and so I can understand a lapse of impulse control. But I also hope you see the episode and realize how truly vile your behavior looked in the context. If you can't play nice, you'll lose the friends (and fans) you have. I sincerely hope you will consider seeking professional help if this seems to be an ongoing problem for you.

I hope there is a reunion show during which you are able to redeem yourself, because people don't like buying things from people who rely on cruelty instead of their personal style and technical skill. And I Really have to hope that you wouldn't honestly stoop so low as to post the snarky vignettes I have provided below for your benefit.

You may really be a terrible, immature, mean-spirited person, and that is your prerogative. But if you want to sell your designs, you need to do some serious work on how you present yourself, or at least hire a public relations firm. You may want to build partnerships or alliances someday, and no company wants to partner with someone whose reputation is built on aggressive backstabbing.

Get better soon.

Manda B