Sarah, please. Stop. You went from being fabulous and quirky, beloved by hordes of gay men and single women everywhere, to...a shill who believes her own press a little too much. Are people really lining up to buy your latest fragrance? Who are these people and how can we stop them?
Now, don't get us wrong. We challenge anyone to find two queens who can quote Sex and the City as much as we can. We're big fans and you remain the only celebrity that literally left us slightly open-mouthed and rooted to the spot when you sauntered past us and gave us a big smile (you sure know your audience) a couple years back in the Village. The fact that you were pushing a stroller was the only thing that kept us from squealing and gushing.
But listen honey, we're about to say something that...well, it's not a very nice thing to say: You're getting too old for this. Carrie Bradshaw was the perfect role for you to play - ten years ago. It's time to hang that particular persona up, don't you think? It's not that we think that now that you've hit 40 you have to play the mother roles, but this "lovelorn girl running through rainsoaked streets in a couture gown" bit is a little played out at this point. Can't you find some halfway point? A persona that says "I'm fabulous and expressive AND I'm mature and in charge of my own shit?"
We have to say, we were terribly disappointed that you and the girls were reuniting for a SATC movie. Why? Besides the money, we mean. You gals did a great job of wrapping up those characters in a nice neat bow. The only thing left for you to do in a movie is to either progress the characters past the point where they'll be interesting or recognizable - a married Carrie or a Samantha in a committed relationship frankly bores the hell out of us - or lock them in to the same personae that they've always had - and a bitchy Miranda, naive Charlotte or slutty Samantha doesn't appeal to us anymore either - because, we reiterate, you're all getting a little old for that. Charlotte's naivete was charming when she was 32 but would come across as painfully stupid when she's pushing forty. Miranda's bitchiness hid a fear of being hurt but would just come off nasty now that she's married and mothered.
So girls (but especially you, Sarah), find something else. You're all talented actresses. Let this one go and move on or we fear you're all going to become the punchline to a joke.
And Sarah, this is the most important thing to remember: you need to rethink your makeup because you look cross-eyed in that commercial.