Hi, Madonna? Can we speak with you for a second?

Monday, November 06, 2006 by
Hi, Madonna! How are you? Great! Listen, on behalf of gays everywhere, we need to have a word with you.

Haha! We can see your eyes glazing over, girl! Don't worry, we totally get it. "More gays." Don't tell anyone we said this, but sometimes we get bored with fags too. It's totally understandable. You probably feel like you've spent the last 20 years stuck on a gay cruise. Anyway, we can see your bodyguards getting a little antsy over there, so we'll try and make this brief.

It's like this, honey - can we call you honey? Oh. Okay. It's like this, um...Your...Highness. We...well, we're going to have cut you loose.

Ah! A raised eyebrow! You ARE listening! We couldn't quite tell. Good. Here's the thing. You went through that whole Desperately Seeking Sperm Donor thing ten years ago and we kind of scratched our heads a little, but okay. We were willing to cut you some slack. Not exactly what the gays were expecting from their DivaWhore, but you did the Evita thing and you wanted to do the mommy thing. Then you paid your hot latin trainer to be your baby daddy and you were right back to being the darlings of gays everywhere, each and every one of whom could totally get behind the idea of sperm donations from hot latin trainers.

Then you went and got all weirdly religious outta left field. At first we were like, "Oh she's totally putting everyone on! Wait till she makes a video where she makes out with a rabbi on the Wailing Wall!" Alas, it never happened. You were serious. It's a good thing Ray of Light was such a good dance song, girl, or we would have never been able to come to terms with your newfound Messiah-hood.

Then you went and got married. We were okay with it because your husband was hot but then you started speaking with an accent. Again, we were like "HAHA! She's gonna rip open her blouse and she'll have Union Jacks painted on her nipples! Just you wait!" Instead, you had another baby and started writing children's books. Girl, what the fuck. Considering your previous book had you in schoolgirl outfits licking Tony Ward's ass with Naomi, this seemed like quite a departure to us - and not a good one.


Do you see where we're going with this, girl? We, who have loved and supported and admired you from the earliest days, just don't know who you are anymore. We want to believe, Madonna. Really, we do. When you made that cheesetastic commercial for the Gap with Missy Elliot, we kept waiting for the ad to end with you two making out but instead you tried to rap and you saved your girlkiss for frikkin Britney Spears. Gross!

Then you fell off that horse and we just laughed. For months.

Anyway, point being, we've been there. Right from the beginning. And ever time you unveiled a new persona, we clapped our gay hands with glee and waited for your bush to make another appearance. With growing uneasiness, we realized that this latest persona, this Lady of the Manor bullshit, isn't actually a put-on anymore. You really believe this Imperial Girl crap.

And what was it that made us finally realize this? You ran off to Africa and BOUGHT A BABY, you stupid, shallow bitch. You can't just run off and buy an African baby. You just can't. Buying babies is gross and running off to Africa to have your picture taken among the Grateful Brown People is even more gross - not to mention (and this is the worst sin of all as far as we're concerned), it's been done already. What the fuck? OUR GIRL is ripping off frikking Angelina Jolie? Madonna rips off Marlene Dietrich, Martha Graham, and hispanic drag queens. She does NOT rip off two-bit collagen-infused actresses.

Like everything you've done for the last quarter century, it's all for the cameras. All to sell your latest image. When your latest image was "Marilyn's ghost," or "German prostitute," or "bondage queen," we clapped and laughed and danced to your boldness, but when your latest image becomes "Entitled Imperialist Bitch," and you pose your perfectly color-coordinated children into a living Benetton ad, well, this is where we get off. Posing for Steven Meisel in a peekaboo nightie with a teddy bear prop? Fabulous. Dragging your multi-racial children (one of whom still has his price tag attached) in front of the cameras to prove to the world that you are loving and caring? Gross.

Okay, we can see your security detail heading this way, so we'll be going now. Thanks for the voguing, Express Yourself, the AIDS charity work and the Sex book. Oh, and don't be afraid to put on a little weight, girl! Two percent body fat at 50 is not a pretty thing. Just a last bit of advice from us.

Post a Comment

90 comments:

Anonymous said...

So true, Madonna is gross and fake. Why does she wear leotards in concert? She should stop doing press about the new kid, and maybe go home and TAKE CARE of the kid.

Anonymous said...

yeah, i remember reading a sad interview about her killing herself to keep that lean and chiseled look because that's what her husband requires. i wonder if she has any moments of relaxation whatsoever in her life.

patsystone said...

Finally! Throw the fake accent-ed bitch out and revoke her gay icon & fruit fly cards. We no longer require her services. Buying the baby was a little too much and I hear she's shopping for another. Is there a blue light special in Africa right now, or what?

Anonymous said...

Amen, sisters!

Brian

jennifer said...

the fake accent is totally annoying, agreed. but honestly - the kid will be better off growing up with a troop of nannies than he ever would have been in Africa.

Anonymous said...

I wanted that Amen to stand alone for the way I feel about...her...but also wanted to make sure you knew that was some of the best writing I've ever read! Brilliant! You guys are amazing!

Brian

Anonymous said...

WOW! That was bitter, cynical, and harsh. Sorry guys...but I think this is where I get off,,,bitchy and funny is one thing...just plain mean is another.

miss_jaunty said...

i know you hear this all the time, but here goes anyway: YOU ARE BRILLIANT!

The Divine Miss M said...

Ha HA! I lurve you bitches. She totally reminds me of Tina Turner, whose accent came from nowhere. Bitch, you are from NUTBUSH, Tennesee! Same thing with Madonna: I've checked with friends in Michigan, and very few people there have English accents. What in the fresh hell.

And am I the only one who thinks she's turning into a female Iggy Pop? She's all thin and sinewy and looks like she could stab someone with her shoulder blades. Ick.

Anonymous said...

Madonna the talentless skank. So glad you've (& now countless others) have seen through the sham. This last stunt is truly the end.

Quick note: 1 of the greatest experiences of my life was when I worked on music videos and my single job for a day was to answer David Fincher's phone & lie & tell Madonna he was busy on set. ALL DAY! By the 20th time she was SUPER pissed. BLISS!

Anonymous said...

I imagine Madonna channeling Veruca Salt (of Willy Wonka fame) during the whole African baby shopping excursion.
"But, daaaaddyyyyy, I want a baby now!"

philly boy said...

Kabbalah killed her for me. She was much more fun when she was an angry lapsed Catholic making out with cute black saints in churches.

Susan said...

" Anonymous said...

WOW! That was bitter, cynical, and harsh. Sorry guys...but I think this is where I get off,,,bitchy and funny is one thing...just plain mean is another. "

???????????????????????

" The Divine Miss M has left a new comment on your post

...And am I the only one who thinks she's turning into a female Iggy Pop? She's all thin and sinewy and looks like she could stab someone with her shoulder blades. Ick."

OH. MY. GOD. She does look like Iggy Pop. LOL.

"patsystone said...

Is there a blue light special in Africa right now, or what? "

LOL.

Hilarious, guys. I love your readers too.

Asian Spices said...

WOW! That was bitter, cynical, and harsh.

I know! Isn't it great?

kora in hell said...

I would not assume that boy is now going to be happier in his life but that isn't the point. The point is that what Madonna has done is ethically repugnant. If she wants to buy a black baby for her benneton christmas card picture (add a new color every year!) there is plenty of suffering and need in her own country -- but fewer photo ops.

You got her latest persona spot on: lady of the manor imperialist bitch. And that is so last century. Like 100 years ago.

On the plus side -- you just know that her servants spit in her food.

Lisette said...

So I haven't been into the whole "Madonna" thing since '85ish. Must have heard Papa don't preach one to many times or something. Yeah, she jumped the shark for me then. So she started out as a middle-class Italian Catholic brunette from Detroit(?) that danced like a sex freak and she's gonna wind up a wealthy English Jewish Blonde who writes children's books and preaches being true to yourself.

whatever

Sewhat? said...

Are you wearing Hogan tennis shoes when you sneak into my brain in the middle of the night and root around in the pending file? You two consistently articulate my opinions, and with much suave-er snark than I could swish.

The father of Modonna's newest purchase said on NPR that he did not know that she was taking his son forever. He thought this nice rich lady was going to take him to the rich, healthy part of the world and educate him and then, BRING HIM BACK.

Well what parent facing today's private school and/or college tuitions hasn't hoped for that? Especially on those days when one's child behaves in a manner that deserves a trip to a parched desert environment.

The older Madonna gets, the more Catholic she behaves. You really cannot escape your childhood.

Anonymous said...

sewhat said:

"The older Madonna gets, the more Catholic she behaves."

What does that mean?

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister friends!

The Scarlett said...

P.S. Ditch the nude leggings. They make your legs look stubby and I swear I can feel the blood not circulating below your knees.

Anonymous said...

trixie b. said...
On the plus side -- you just know that her servants spit in her food.

LMAO! BRILLIANT!

Light a candle for her servants!

Mudeng said...

THANK YOU, GAY BOYS! I am a transracial adoptee and was personally sickened by the adoption and madonna's privileged entitlement seeping from her every pore.

It's an outrage to have rich white celebrities traipse to Africa, buy children and then expect everyone to be happy about it because of course, everything white and western is superior to anything dark and African.

The "save the children" phrase is loaded with entitlement and condescension, and I'm thrilled, absolutely thrilled, to see you two take a stand and call Madonna out.

Anonymous said...

"....and running off to Africa to have your picture taken among the Grateful Brown People is even more gross"

Good fucking god, that's HILARIOUS!!! Madonna needs to get off her high horse (or camel now that she's spending so much time in the Land of the Grateful Dead...err...Brown People) and realize she's a dirty skank with too much money and egotistical tendencies.

Wanna be on TV causes a stir? Go give 15 million dollars to Cancer Research or the ASPCA. Don't go buy little kids to make yourself look like a saint. Cause we all know, sweetheart, that underneath that oh-holier-than-thou persona is a media whore sell-out who thinks she's better than god.

--April

Bill said...

BRILLIANT! "Imperial Girl" lmao

I was a big M fan like every other 80's gayboy. Went on her Holiday. She was my Shining Star. Stayed True Blue through the whole Sean Penn thing. She was ours to Cherish and gave me mermaid fanatsies for years.

I loved the reinventions. But, like others, I started to worry when the Kaballah thing came along.

Thanks for calling her on the latest BS.

BigAssBelle said...

so many opportunities for comment, and then this hit me:

Bitter, delusional Madonna queen at 11:18.

and i laughed out loud. thanks for that :-)

as a former child abuse investigator, the entire rush to africa to adopt a black child offends me to no end. of course there are children in every nation needing rescue. but they're here at home too. they're just not babies and they've been through some shit and still no one wants them and one who could provide the special care for a child here rushes off to grab an infant. i hate this. fuck madonna.

VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thombeau said...

It should be apparent by now that M is intent on starting a new crop of gays. UBER-GAYS. A mega-powered, genetically superior breed raised on the best that money can buy. A breed that was not only born to shop, but can actually afford to! This new, multi-culti gaggle of gays can claim a millionairess superstar for a mother, and will not only keep therapists in business for decades to come, but will supply the rest of the world with tell-all tomes that will make "Mommie Dearest" look like a nursery rhyme. In fact, it probably IS their nursery rhyme. So all we can do is sit back...and enjoy the show!

Anonymous said...

i'm guessing that what madonna spends on her children's wardrobes (not even her own clothes) is enough to keep quite a few african villages fed & clothed & schooled.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry guys. You're right. She's a real bitch alright.

I'm sorry I said it was harsh, bitter and cynical. She's a whore.

I mean...I'll forget the millions she's raised for AIDS research and all she's done for Gay rights. I mean, she just did it for publicity. Right?

And the whole fake accent thing. Yea. I mean, I grew up in Texas for 20 years and lost my native twang after a year and now my parents don't recognize my voice on the phone anymore. Guess that makes me phony. Right?

And yea...the whole adoption thing. Yea...media hungry whore. I mean, why just go shopping followed by a horde of photographers when you can get your picture on the cover of the National Enquirer by donating millions to African charities and actually try to adopt a child with the fathers blessing. Send the kid back to Africa and let him stay in the orphanage where his birth father never visited. Damn she's a bitch.

You guys are right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry I came off as a "bitter delusional Madonna queen". I should realize thata person using their celebrity to actually affect positive change in the world is just wrong. Plain wrong. So I hereby denounce Madonna. She's a media hungry whore.

Let's see. I'm too young for Liza with a Z...too old for Britney. From now on...my allegiance is to Paris Hilton.

Angie said...

Dragging your multi-racial children (one of whom still has his price tag attached) in front of the cameras to prove to the world that you are loving and caring? Gross.

I have tears in my eyes I love you both so much. The world was waiting for you. And I'm sorry I called you climbers, I was wrong. You belong up there on the mountaintop.

Anonymous said...

Spot on again fabulousness T&L. So, it’s 4 for 4 but who is counting right?

Got to give it to her, the American dream realized, and now the European royalty dream realized. She has a frigging Brit hubby, lives in a fake castle and speaks Britishese. Her family has more colors than a rainbow. I think she is god-like with her name and her kid’s name. To top it all off, she has street cred when she raps about soy latte.
Yeah, I gave her .01 fabulousity points for that alone. Uuurrrrggghhhh.

Anna

kitkat said...

Snap!

Finally you gays have woken up...

I've been off the Madonna wagon since Borderline!

Anonymous said...

Ah, Madonna. I have loved her since my sister gave me hand-me-down casette tapes of her "True Blue" and "Like A Virgin" albums. But sadly, she has just turned into a joke over these past 7 or 8 years.

I guess I'll just sit back, listen to "The Immaculate Collection" and remember the good old days...

~Mel

Anonymous said...

T&L,
LMAO. Please you can go on forever with Americans speaking Britishnese, Switzernese, Germanese, Engrish, Malaynese. Try living away from the states for a few years and you will pick up any languagenese quickly.
It comes naturally. ……pause…..NOT

loveyameanit

Anna

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11/06/2006 1:05 PM--


Leave the snarkiness to T & L. Though I'm sure we all value each others' opinions, we don't (at least I don't) appreciate sarcastic condescending tones.

Sprague Dawley said...

Fan-frigging-tastic...

The writing is great, the illustrations are perfect. Where have you been all my life?

Anonymous said...

And yea...the whole adoption thing. Yea...media hungry whore. I mean, why just go shopping followed by a horde of photographers when you can get your picture on the cover of the National Enquirer by donating millions to African charities and actually try to adopt a child with the fathers blessing. Send the kid back to Africa and let him stay in the orphanage where his birth father never visited. Damn she's a bitch.

Can you substantiate these claims? The fact that M circumvented the country's adoption laws can be substantiated through the quote,
Undule Mwakasungura, a lawyer for the HRCC, said the committee "is not necessarily against the adoption," according to USA Today. "We note that laws were flouted, and our concern is that government may set a precedent that can legalize human trafficking."

Father's blessing? Are you sure? How do you know the father never visited? Because Madonna's publicist said so?
There seems to be some dispute.
Are you Madonna's publicist?

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous 1:42--


Sic 'em!

Asian Spices said...

Um...what part of "We're gay. We judge. That's what we do." do people have trouble understanding?

jinxy said...

Look, T&L have their right to an opinion. Anonymous has a right to theirs... Unfortunately for Anonymous, this is T&L's blog. You don't like it, go back to anonymity.

We come here to lap up their cynicism, snarkiness, and meanness. We love them for every bit of it. They say what we think, many times before we are clever enough to think it, and for that we adore them.

If you don't like their tone, find a PC blog... there are plenty of them out there, they are just boring.

Personally, I totally agree with T&L. Madonna has reinvented herself into boredom and tastelessness. I guess since she bought the fake castle and accent, she figures everything in her life should be able to be bought. Talk about a Material Girl...

Yawn...

Anonymous said...

jinxy said...
Personally, I totally agree with T&L. Madonna has reinvented herself into boredom and tastelessness. I guess since she bought the fake castle and accent, she figures everything in her life should be able to be bought. Talk about a Material Girl...

Yawn...

jinxy--
You're the shiz...

redheadgirl said...

OH. MY. GOD.

I'm truly in love with you now. I just posted about Ms. Affected on my blog two weeks ago. SO DONE.

You've won me over 4-EVA!!!!!!!!! All my thoughts exactly. She's turned into a little piggy made outa big old fake a roonie bologna.

I feel like sending you flowers. You made my day.

Anonymous said...

I WROTE THIS.........

""Anonymous said...
Anonymous 11/06/2006 1:05 PM--

Leave the snarkiness to T & L. Though I'm sure we all value each others' opinions, we don't (at least I don't) appreciate sarcastic condescending tones.

11/06/2006 1:24 PM ""

HOWEVER, it didn't quite read the way I meant for it to. I was telling the anonymous writer (from 1:05 pm) above me to leave the snarkiness to T&L, since it's THEIR site, and that we readers who LOVE T&L and their point of view don't appreciate such bitchery and condescending attitude from a disgruntled reader.

I LOVE THE GAY BOYS!!!!

--April

Bean said...

haha..."grateful brown people"? I'm tempted to believe this is what Madonna is really thinking these days.

jinxy said...

Just about everything that comes out of Madonna's mouth these days in incredibly condescending... and her attitude about the "little brown people in Africa" is only a glaring example of this...

Anonymous said...

Love her or hate her; after years in the business she still knows how to push (y)our buttons.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Love her or hate her; after years in the business she still knows how to push (y)our buttons.

11/06/2006 2:45 PM "

That's just because she's a manipulative bitch.

-april

Anonymous said...

Hello? This is not just about adopting a child, the right to adopt, how wonderful that she is adopting a child, blah blah blah...that is all good and valid.

This is about how Madonna's been handling this whole thing. She IS a media whore. Everything she does is calculated to bring her the maximum publicity value.

Anonymous said...

Not that I don't agree with what the boys said (completely) but if Madge is still looking to adopt I gladly offer myself up. 39 (but look younger... ok not young enough to pass for Rocco's brother but you get the idea), good at faking accents (so we could sit up late at night watching BBC3 and work on her next make-over)my mom was mostly Cherokee Indian so I could bring a new flavor to the Christmas card. Hey Madge think about it, I mix a wicked martini and could baby-sit when you and Guy want to skip down to Steak N Shake for a night out or get a curry.

FrancesSpencer said...

Hey, Anonymous 1:15 pm? Like cockroaches, there is always CHER. Good writing, T&L, but I have to disagree about her Madgesty. She said on Oprah (When are you going to do her? I've got DETAILS!) that she is going to visit Malawi 1-2 times/year and you can't lie to Oprah. Ask James Frey. While I agree that we were suppose to have learned from Webster and Different Strokes, I think she will do her best since Lola is a minority as well. I read her children's books to my daughter. To get a toddler to sit thru Yakov & the Seven Thieves is an accomplishment. The illustrations are beautiful on all the books. I see her as still trying to grow as a person. I commend her for it. Mistakes and all. Ray of Light and Music redeem her post Immaculate Collection recordings to me. Still love you guys, T&L.

Sewhat? said...

anonymous 12:09 said,

"sewhat said:

"The older Madonna gets, the more Catholic she behaves."

What does that mean?"

It means that, to me, she has become, like the Catholic Church, deluded by her self-righteous omnipotence. She believes she can do no wrong and rubs everyones face in it. Kind of like Bush, now that I think about it.

londonruss said...

take her back PLEASE!
she's giving us Brits a bad name, which I could almost cope with if she did it with even a smidgen of wit and style. hey ho, jusy goes to show you can't buy class.

Kait said...

"The older Madonna gets, the more Catholic she behaves."

What does that mean?"

It means that, to me, she has become, like the Catholic Church, deluded by her self-righteous omnipotence. She believes she can do no wrong and rubs everyones face in it. Kind of like Bush, now that I think about it."

Excuse me? I'm sure there are plenty of Protestants, Jews, Agnostics, etc. who do the exact same thing.

And as for Madonna? Rip away, T&L. Rip away. <3

Anonymous said...

T&L,
Please may I post this?

I can give U A-SEA-N Engrish. I already tly Engrish in A-sheAh and AmeriKah. I also possibility Engrish in Uh-rope.

Please read carefully, keep the last consonant silent helps, 10 u will understand. This is hilarious...trying to construct sentences using numeric!

Exclusively SE Asians but Americanese is practiced worldwide.

“Satay Malay” was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.

Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.
This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me,
so
I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so
fast
until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to
throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.
So,
I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call
my boss and say I am 6 .
He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand,
I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

Chowbella

mjude said...

ME - FUCKING - OW!

theycallmelilsteph said...

Be lucky that I love you guys so much, because I'm one huge Madonnahead HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ryan D. said...

I think you guys are geniuses. But I must say that I completely disagree with you on this post. It seemed mean-spirited as well.

Limecrete said...

Hey, TheGayBoys are kinder than this gay boy. I tucked and rolled off the Madonna train in the late '90s. And it's for the same reason that a lot of other people do, and has been stated here: you can only be amused by someone whose every action is calculated to the tiniest degree to garner the most attention for so long.

She's a media whore, plain and simple. Which is fine, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's no need to extrapolate her actions out to find some sort of biting commentary on world religion. Adopt a child, burn a cross, lick a nun's asshole -- if it'll get the cameras pointed in her direction, she'll do it.

bungle said...

My fellow commentators, hear my words!

This blog is a cruel trap! The PRGays are members of the Outquisition! They're gay and do twisted things for laughs! THEY can continue to conjure up EPIC posts like this one forever, and take sadistic pleasure in watching us strain to come up with fresh, inventive ways to show our praise!

THEY LIKE WATCHING US SQUIRM! (some more than others, I'm guessing)


Don't let them have their Gay and eat it too! Fight them! If we band together they'll never hear the end of how awesome their smack is!

Vic said...

Yeah, Madonna is a Michael Jacksonesque tragedy in the making, becoming such a parody of her once splendid self that you just want to puke when you see her acting all prim and dowdy for a tea time read of her latest children's book. Bleh.

"Is there a blue light special in Africa right now, or what?"

Oh, Patsy Stone, you slay me.

Gorgeous Things said...

She's gotten so horsey looking lately that I figured she was getting some sort of horse DNA injected to keep herself looking younger. I always thought she was skanky, but at least she was skanky-ironic. Now she's just a sad skank.

FW said...

Wonderful, just really well done. I was wondering how this new project of your would work, and its great. I also love that your commentary can soar free of the PRunway world.

Anonymous said...

OK, personally, I'm not a big fan of hers. Never really got the whole Madonna thing, but then again, I'm a straight, white, female who is around the same age as Madonna. But- I do find her fascinating on some level. Here is a girl who is clearly not the prettiest girl in the room, not the best singer you'll ever hear, or the most talented actress you'll ever see, yet she has managed to become one of the biggest superstars on the planet. The woman is a freaking marketing GENIUS!!! She should write books and teach courses in marketing yourself. Of course, I totally agree with T&L about the whole baby thing. It's not like Madonna to be such a copycat.
kath

candyo said...

I saw that Oprah episode. I was not convinced, and I'm not sure Oprah was, either.

Anonymous said...

"Love her or hate her; after years in the business she still knows how to push (y)our buttons."

What, exactly, is the inherent value in that?

Here I've been groaning at Madonna's insufferable antics for years, but you've made me see that her noble aim was actually to "push my buttons". I see.

(Philistine that I am, I thought her merely attention starved and juvenile.)

Red Seven said...

Hmm ... well, this gay still loves Madge. Not enough to find my local Kabbalah temple and sign up or anything, but I'll stand by her side a while longer.

If you see her, don't tell her that I laughed more than a few times reading this particular entry.

Anonymous said...

This is one gay man who never liked Madonna or thought she had any talent whatsoever. Those who formerly fawned on her can now see the error of their ways in falling for nothing but PR.
A person does not have to keep reinventing herself if there were anything worthwhile there to begin with.

Anonymous said...

"A person does not have to keep reinventing herself if there were anything worthwhile there to begin with."

Right ON!

Épaulard said...

Vous êtes parfaits! Nous vous adorons! Ne changez jamais une chose ... jamais.

Anonymous said...

Madonna always was a talentless media whore. I still love her, though.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Madonna always was a talentless media whore. I still love her, though.
11/06/2006 11:03 PM

There is nothing about this sentence I should respect.

Which is why it's so fracking hilarious!

Sandy said...

Madonna has ben putting us to zz'zz'zzz's for years. She should have hung it up while she was 'a head'~The poor lil baby boy will probably wished he could have stayed in Africa w/ his Daddy.Why the hell didn't the benevolent bitch just give her bucks to help them stay together. Anjolina copy cat..both make me puke!

fashion curmudgeon said...

Hey, a girl's gotta make a living. She never said she was a great singer, just that she has a talent for re-inventing herself. As long as she's in the limelight, her power to make money continues. Granted, she needs to bash us over the head with obvious ploys to get our attention these days, but the 73 comments here indicate that she's succeeding because she's still of interest.

jinxy said...

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being a media whore or seeking attention... What self-respecting prima donna doesn't dedicate every breath in his/her body trying to get as much attention paid to them as possible??

My main gripe with Madge is that, while you have our attention, could you be a bit more fun to watch??

Anonymous said...

Bungle: you got it so very right and could be a mini-me prg blog, I suspect. You have the same ability to get the lay of the land, so to speak, and send it back with your own hilarious and brilliant finesse.

Now my problem is that I am transfixed by the smartness of prg, BUT have always despised Madonna. What am I to make of their earlier Madge adoration; or as I suspect, its me, and I just don't get it and never will.
Don't always agree with the subjects of their admiration, BUT I love their unalloyed wit.

Istar73 said...

Don't really care what she does. Its her choice. None of my business anyway. Whose to say what is right or wrong when we are not really involved and do not know the whole situation. However,her latest album is fantastic. Its not easy to find an ablum nowadays that sounds good from first to last track.

Chgo_John said...

As always, Boys, great post. I read about the adoption and just shook my head. As for the rest, I dunno. I pay to have a performer entertain, not enlighten, me. Hell, I listen to a wide range of music and if I paid attention to all of the shit they've individually tried to peddle, I'd be an even bigger mess than I already am, thank you very much.

My only hope is that once the media circus leaves Malawi, the world will send funds, not adoptive parents, to that country, as well as other "lesser known" sub-Saharan countries, to help house, clothe, feed, medicate, and educate the millions of PWA's and their orphans.

And Madonna? If she puts out a good song, I'll dance ... well, if there's a bottle of Kettel One in the vicinity and there's absolutely noone in the bar that I'm trying to "impress" -- just as I've always done.

BigAssBelle said...

let's take back our country today.

VOTE
VOTE
VOTE
VOTE
VOTE!!!!

Asian Spices said...

but the 73 comments here indicate that she's succeeding because she's still of interest.
Going by that reasoning, Wonder Woman is a major figure of interest due to the 80+ comments in her post.

Anonymous said...

You are so right. I will always be grateful for Express Yourself, but I feel sorry for that little kid.

Kim M said...

I still love her though.

Trish said...

If I was a total bitch, I might suggest that Daddy coming forward to complain about the adoption was staged to get more media attention when the trip to Africa and the adoption were not getting enough attention.

But, of course, that can't possible be the case.

jeffd said...

In M's defense, the Confessions Tour was an awesome show, full of her famous sass and ballsiness. You've got to recognize these grand M moments along with her Lady of the Manour crap.

Miss Nell said...

Yeah, yeah, Madonna has a genius for marketing herself. She's like a billboard that's been pasted over and over and over. After a while the schtick is so old you don't even look anymore.

I still wouldn't let her raise a puppy, much less a child of ANY ethnicity. And who's to say that David will be happier in Madonna's House of Privilege than he would have been in his native town? I don't think we can presume that.

If she wants to buy a black baby for her benneton christmas card picture (add a new color every year!) there is plenty of suffering and need in her own country -- but fewer photo ops.

Think globally, act locally. Right on.

VOTING IS A RIGHT, NOT A PRIVILEGE, MR. PRESIDENT.

Lima Bean said...

I remember when Madonna and Dennis Rodman hooked up. I remember thinking that between the two of them they probably swapped every sex disease known to man.

It's one thing to have a view and the guts to express it, but that woman has never pulled off anything with class, grace, or selflessness. Yuck.

Good riddance and buh bye.

Robbie said...

I have to say the best line of this entire entry was, "Then you fell off that horse and we just laughed. For months." OMG. Your wit and cattiness is freakin' brilliant. I don't know you, but I sure do love you.

FIT GRAD said...

Is she still around?

Anonymous said...

Madonna hasn't been the same since she got married. That's pretty much it. She chose a hairstyle and stuck with it, she hasn't innovated, and she's coming off like a wacko with this Kabbalah Krap. Her disco thing is totally odd and oddly unsexy.

Maybe being happily married has ruined her career for life?

The T&L post is really funny, but I still have enormous respect for Madge, no matter what a nutjob she's become.

MarceloMF said...

I completely disagree with this Madonna bashing and I find it very unbecoming. She's a Gay icon and always will be. I find her fabulous in every way, along with her flaws as well. I am a huge Madonna fan and found that many comments were just mean spirited and not actually that funny.
I did find surprising the whole African adoption thing but in the end she's bringing a needy child into her home & family, giving him opportunities that anyone would never even dream of, not to mention the awareness of adoption trials and famine, AIDS and poverty in Africa.
She's human after all and entitled to err as well. So what if you didn't love one of her albums in the past? Madonna has made history for being a ground breaker, envelope pusher, self-made woman that answers to no one.
Bravo Madonna! Keep doing your thing and don't listen to the nay sayers, as if you had in the past you wouldn't be the legend you are now.
With love,

MarceloMF

Anonymous said...

First of allI just have to say this...YES...maybe madonna and her media driven goals and explotations have gone far in MANY cases...BUT...there are MANY CHILDREN in the world...no matter what color that suffer or do not have a life. I have many friends who have BOUGHT children from countries like CHINA, POLAND, and so on...they were not going to have a life. BUT...BUYING a child is not like going to a damned store...if anyone has ever gone through adoption process...you do spend MONEY! SOMETIMES THOUSANDS of dollars. The fact that madonna "bought" a child to me, only says to the world, Let us ALL help those in NEED. I dont care if she is a media driven slut at times...but I do care that millions of people see this and maybe will go out there and reach out to others who are in NEED! Rich, Royalty, White, or not...she is doing something gracious to another.

filthpunkdammit said...

i dont know, boys... ive been a huge madonna fan since i first spotted her on solid gold and continue to worship at her alter today. so - im biased, for sure.

apparently the whole trip to malawi was about setting up an orphanage or something that will take care of like 4000 needy kids. to me, this trumps angelina by a mile and moves madge a bit closer to oprah-country. and its hard to argue with that level of philantropy...

anyway, i say stay tuned. madonna never really lets us down. she takes wacky detours for sure (dick tracey, sean penn, swept away...), but she always comes back with some kind of full-on, booty-shakin' diva track, and then we all go back to loving her.

so, after a quarter of a century of fabulousness, im just not ready to write her off.

hell - remember when cher started doing infomercials? every fag in creation seemed to deny ever knowing her... then she got another facelift, put out a new album and departed on the highest grossing concert tour of all time, rising again to uber-icon status.

madonna will do the same. only better.

just be patient. once those damn kids are off to college and she dumps that boring brit, madonna will be back in full effect, waving her 70 year old cooch in all our faces. and it will be glorious. you know it.