Take me back, Barbie! Take me back!

Thursday, August 24, 2006 by

We know we're probably gonna hear it from some of you because he was certainly a favorite, but Robert's auf'ing was totally justified as far as we were concerned. The judges spew a lot of bullshit half the time, but their mantra of "boring...boring...boring" was exactly right in his case. He produced exactly two nice outfits (the first challenge and the dog challenge - and even they weren't all that exciting; just cute) and everything else he produced was a boring, discount department store retread.



Work it, girl!

Sorry, but that's pure Lane Bryant Clearance Rack. We can't even come up with any jokes about it, that's how boring this piece was.


Robert! Some buttons, a print, feathers - anything! You didn't even pick a nice red. That one is tomatoey, which is not only not a good association to make with a plus-sized woman, but it makes her skin look yellow. What kind of 'mo are you? For shame!

Still, he was obviously loved by his co-designers and popular with viewers. We're sorry to see him go but can't say we didn't see it coming.




And it was sweet how everyone applauded him.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Robert is a truly nice guy. He did seem to freeze and give up after he first started to come in for criticism. Bummer, but you're right, no surprise, no outrage over Robert's auf'ing (wasn't it cool to watch Heidi talk foreign with Uli's Mom? it's a good year for Deutsch girls!)
I could not believe how Jeffrey teared up over it, something like "some of the people on this show are not nice, but Robert was really nice."

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Robert's slim talents...and Vincent's...and Alison's...and Keith's...and what's her name who didn't know how to use a sewing machine...ummmm...how, exactly, WERE the contestants chosen this season? Were names pulled out of a bag? I hope they do a re-run of the pre-season show that covered the auditions.
Now that I know what to look for.

Anonymous said...

Oops, meant to say "Angela" not Alison in the comment above.
More coffee, wake up...

Anonymous said...

I can understand why they'd auf'd Robert. But to do so before Angela and Vincent? That's the travesty!!

eric3000 said...

Sorry, but I've taken my mom shopping at Lane Bryant and even the discount rack had more interesting and flattering clothes than that sack Robert designed.

Bless his heart.

Anonymous said...

I hated the show last night and was in a foul mood about it until I came here to read your comments. Thanks for making me laugh. You guys are hilarious.

BigAssBelle said...

you know, having shopped the lane bryant clearance rack myself (sigh), i have to agree. i love black and red, but something, something . . . a slimmer black underdress, a longer flowing top without that big fat fluffy thing around the neck, some cleavage, a collar, something to draw the eye up and away from where that red cuts across her ample hips (i say as an ample-hipped miss myself) . . . big red buttons? flip it around? red dress, black buttons, black topper? it was pitiful and she looked mad about it.

nevertheless, i love me some robert. he's precious.

so are y'all going to talk about miss heidi's lack of a slip? criminy, the width of her secret parts was in full view behind that screen. yikes! am i missing the boat in still wearing a half slip like my mama told me to?

Anonymous said...

I'd have to say, I knew Robert would get the axe because he's made no impression on the judges thus far. They've expressed interest in some of Jeffrey's work so far, so I figured he was screwed. I'm still rooting for my little Oklahoma boy. I heart Kayne!

Anonymous said...

How Terrible! I really liked Roberty, but yes, it was boring. According to TG's podcast, Robert's sister was very clear about what she would and would not wear. Further, TG described jeffrey's dress for Angela's mom as "a fashion b!tchslap". Owch.

Making your client cry AND look like a crazy minister didn't get Jeffrey kicked off? Well, I'd say he lost this challenge, even if Robert was auf'd.

Robert seems to have a pretty fab family. His sister was slammin and a London-based business consultant? She single?

Embeedubya said...

The moment I saw that fugitive from a tent factory on the runway, I knew it was over for Barbie Best Friend. Worst thing: I had him picked for top three in our little PR pool! I was already spending that $70! Who to throw my support behind now? I think Kaynie-poo's days are numbered. Go Uli! Achtung!

Anonymous said...

I know, right? I love Robert, but that was fugly. Talk about boring and unflattering. Ok next week, Jeffrey, I want your ass AUF'ED!

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, she is a large woman and that is a REAL challenge, but man, what an ugly choice of everything: color, design, etc etc.

Anonymous said...

First time on this site & I LOVE IT!!! As far as Robert goes- he should have been gone a LONG time ago w/ all that boring bs! I dont give a damn how nice he is, week after week he made me snore! I MISS ALLISON!!

Anonymous said...

Robert was talented, but he somehow didn't manage to get it through, and it's sad.

Week in, week out I was hoping he'll get over it and just go nuts, create something crazy and shocking and throw the judges off their feet, but it never happened.

He received so many chances, time after time after time, and it was the right time to eliminate him.
I'm just REALLY happy Jeff stayed. I love him dearly, and he's really an inspiration for me, what's with all that he's been through.
He truly managed to bring some very interesting pieces, and it would've been wrong to eliminate him now.

Too bad it wasn't Angela.

Anonymous said...

I still think Jeffrey's was worse. I couldn't stop staring at that weird periwinkle triangle thing on his.

I really thought Robert was a shoo-in for the top 3.

He was a cutie; I'll miss him.

James Derek Dwyer said...

now if they can get rid of Kayne next week I will be in heaven...

Anonymous said...

Vincent winning was a joke. As soon as Heidi said there would be no immunity for this challenge, I thought "the producers decided Vincent had to win this one", so that when he's back on the bottom three next week they can say "oh, but he won a challenge, he can't be that bad".
I adored Michael's design and his model looked gorgeous in it. I also think Uli did a good job, she got one of the fattest moms and she pulled it off; after this week I'll roll my eyes all over the place if anyone calls her a "one-note" designer.
Vincent's sister was atrocious... atrocious, she actually looked PISSED walking down the runway; she totally killed Robert's outfit (and gave me the creeps after reminding me of that 90's Johnny Depp and Leonardo di Caprio movie where a fat lady played their mom and she never ever left her house)

PS: I LOVE this blog, it makes my day.

Adam said...

The only reason why anyone liked him was because he was kinda sorta cute. I'm so glad this blog exists!! :)

Chgo_John said...

Although I would agree that Robert's latest designs were boring, I don't think that there was anything the least bit fair about last night's competition. In order to level the playing field, all of the "models" should have been the same approximate size, "plus" or otherwise. Vincent's winning the night is proof enough that this competition wasn't fair.
As for Jeffrey, his unprofessional handling of his model -- no matter whether he was right or wrong -- should hae been grounds for an "Auf".

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm glad I discovered this site! This is great! :)

Well, y'all, I'm sorry to say it, but I haven't all jumped on the "let's all hate Angela" bandwagon. I think she's nice, and she is talented in her own way. I don't think she'll win, but she does her own thing and I respect her for that and the self-sufficient/vegan way she lives her life. I can't imagine the pressure this show creates. Actually, I can, having spent three years crammed in small spaces with 11 other people for grad school. We all ended up hating eachother. Oops, back on track -- maybe Jeffrey has been through a lot and is turning his life around. Good for him. That doesn't give you the right to be a horrible as*hole to other people without a feasible reason. Don't they teach you to get along or be nice to other people in those 12-step programs?

Oh, and Vincent needs to go, like yesterday. I have a feeling they're only keeping him and Mr. Neck (as we call him) around for the TV ratings.

BigAssBelle said...

well, that's another thing. what a horrible advertisement for sobriety/being clean. jeffrey the big fat asshole has been clean and sober whah whah whah. generally, if folks get that way through a 12 step program, their personalities improve and they become kinder, better people. guess jeffrey NEEDS a program, didn't get one. boo jeffrey.

Anonymous said...

After the first few challenges, I was pretty sure I had this whole season figued out. The finalists would be Keith, Robert, and . . . hmmm. I can't remember the third designer. I know Keith had to go, but I really would have enjoyed seeing his runway show. I loved every outfit he designed. I loved Robert's first two efforts, but he clearly went downhill. Still, he was my favorite (how cute and funny is he?), and I'll miss him!

Michael and Uli are both great, and barring some unforeseen weirdness, should make it to the final. But who'll be the third one? I hope it's Jeffrey. Or Kayne. Or Laura. Or even Vincent.

Anyone but Angela.

Ian said...

I used to be a Robert man until he started hanging out with Kayne. Both of them have been dead to me since I had to choose between them and Laura. Dead. To. Me.

TropicalChrome said...

I don't think Robert had the worst outfit out there last night by far. But the judges did.

I understand why Robert was out, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Thanks for the laughs, though!

Rafe Totengco said...

I had high hopes for Robert given his pedigree but he couldn't seem to get out of his doldrums. I think it's better to have bad taste than to be boring. That's why Vincent won!

Anonymous said...

Robert's model resembled a walking tomato. But Jeffrey's dress was unforgiveable.

No woman, zaftig or not, would choose to wear an army tent. I don't care if he paired it with a light blue collar.

Shame on you Jeffrey for your pathetic design and churlish behavior.

Kudos to Michael and Uli.

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy, lordy, lordy ... Robert's outfit was absolutely tragic!!

I have to agree with everyone that said that his outfit wasn't even Lane Bryant worthy - maybe 20 years ago Lane Bryant worthy, though. (I shudder at the memory of women I grew up around in muu-muu style dresses like Robert's)

At least Uli and Kayne came up with clothes I'd consider buying ... maybe not the outfits themselves, but pieces to add into my wardrobe! :)

Anonymous said...

But don't you feel sorry for Robert? The very first thing he said was like "I want to put you in zebra stripes and put a sign around your neck that says 'stop picking on robert'." But ol' zoloft said she wanted black and red. He knew he was in the bag... but chose to please his customer. The man's got class. At least he got a really good goodbye from everybody.
This episode made me cry. But not in the "I so happy, I so happy I almost cry" kind of way.

Anonymous said...

I teach apparel design and two of my students who both won Paris fashion design school scholarships were turned down for PR... one on my most talented designers was told that he was more than talented enough but he did not project the drama queen image they needed!!! Yikes

Anonymous said...

I think Robert really got the shaft on this one. He gave his model what she wanted (according to Tim's podcast, pretty much insisted on) and it really wasn't that bad. Yes, he should have used a pattern for the cardigan, but lots of women like the cleanness of the red and black. And those who say it should have been more fitted have NO concept of a larger body. The last thing I want to wear is something tighter that shows all the flaws, thank you very much! I think it hurt Robert that his model had the arthritic hip and was in pain, because she looked unhappy and I think that influenced the judges. (Who dress rather boringly themselves!) Ah, Robert, we'll REALLY miss your conversation too!

Anonymous said...

It is really sad that the Kaybert combo is no more (they made me laugh so much throughout the past few episodes)...now there's only Gayne. Whoops, I mean, Kayne.

Red Seven said...

Yeah, but let's not forget she was crazy Vincent's sister, and I think a little of the crazy rubbed off. According to silver-fox-daddy Tim's podcast, she was threatening to boycott the runway if he "dressed up" the outfit with anything *she* considered to be too "out there" -- so he figured it'd be a contest between his boring and Jeffrey's ugly. Of course, boring always loses. It's sad, tho' -- I'll miss his cute little T-shirts.